Spring Break Increases Student Diversity
The university once again took advantage of spring break before announcing its ethnic and epidermic diversity statistics. Photos of many sorority and fraternity members on their beach vacations provided the perfect proof for A&M’s new diversity campaign. Relying on a somewhat archaic method of rating diversity on slight variations in... Read more
Sexas A&M, Home of the Twelfth Moan
Well, we hope you are proud of yourselves, you depraved collection of inglorious nymphomaniacs. Our intern quit after losing all hope in humanity from reading the depths of degeneracy on campus.  Enjoy your own deplorable display of bizarre deviance in the dorms. With that, there is only one more thing... Read more
Student Yelling Racial Slurs Inconveniences Those Nearby
David Luwin, a sophomore International Studies major, was rudely awoken from his midday nap Wednesday by a Texas A&M student yelling racial insults at a group of high schoolers. Luwin said he was so enraged that he almost said something. “Sure, campus is a social place,” Luwin said. “But... Read more
A&M Allows Concealed Carry of Test Answers
Texas A&M will now permit students to use notes, cheat sheets, textbooks or any other form of assistance during tests. The new rule, which took effect on January 1,  is in accordance with a Texas Senate bill that requires universities to allow students to carry test answers with them... Read more
The 6 Best Places to Poop on Campus (No. 2 Will Inspire You)
6.) Top Floor of Harrington Tower The bathrooms here are clean, and the aesthetics are pleasing. Plus, you get that familiar rush from defecating at an altitude! Not a lot of people use these bathrooms–especially at night–so they are perfect for those late-night-away-from-home craps! Flush away! 5.) Sbisa These... Read more
Sight of Tour Group Causes Sudden Feeling of Superiority
Jason Sheffield said he was having a bad day until he saw a tour group on campus. “I had just gotten a notification from my bank saying I was overdrawn,” Sheffield said. “Plus, I hadn’t slept in like 21 hours, I think I failed my biology midterm and I... Read more
Too Many Students Says 6th Year Senior
Overcrowding at Texas A&M has been taking a toll. Students can no longer comfortably register for classes or park in Lot 100, and worst of all it is nearly impossible to sit alone in campus dining facilities. Students blame the administration for bringing in larger and larger freshman classes... Read more
A&M to Add Seventh Core Value: Involvement
Texas A&M prides itself on students exemplifying the University’s traditional six core values — Excellence, Integrity, Leadership, Loyalty, Respect, and Selfless Service. Wednesday morning, the Board of Regents made an important addition to this list— Involvement. “Many of our students give top priority to participation in some of our... Read more
25×25 Plan Announced for College of Liberal Arts
The 2015-2016 school year has been off to a frustrating start, with overcrowded parking garages, students sitting on the floor in classrooms, and a surplus of competitive engineering students lining up in front of Evans at 5:00 a.m. hoping to get a table next to an outlet. Juniors and... Read more
Hug an Aggie Athlete Day
Starting guard for Texas A&M Men’s Basketball Team, Danuel House, recently suffered a serious injury while walking across campus. A fracture to his ankle was caused by an awkward run-in where a student he was approaching stepped to the same side of the sidewalk as he did. House describes... Read more