Wednesday, April 24, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Student Shocked to Learn Bryan Exists

By Haudi Arabia , in Local News , at October 27, 2020 Tags: , , , , ,

In a report released last Sunday, freshman Megan Shumake shared her shocking discovery of the existence of Bryan, Texas. Shumake stumbled upon the 84,000 person city by mistake when her friend’s car accidentally continued farther down Texas Avenue than intended. As a student that has never ventured farther than University Drive, Shumake was shocked to find the presence of an entire city, complete with its own library, fire station, and courthouse, just outside of College Station.

Shumake told The Mugdown she never meant to cross the boundary dividing the university’s campus from the real world. She and her friends intended to go to Century Square for a Sunday brunch when the driver went straight on Texas Avenue instead of turning left. “I was floored! I never knew the ‘Bryan’ in Bryan/College Station stood for anything. I just thought the word was silent,” Shumake said.

In years past, college students would visit the historic downtown of Bryan for the monthly gathering, “First Friday.” This event provides a secure place for the hipsters of Texas A&M to conglomerate and walk around food trucks while flaunting the latest trends like carelessly-paired, oversized clothes and discussing the newest garage-band music made by two guys banging trash can lids together. Since the temporary suspension of First Friday, the students of College Station have conducted no official business past the Sonic on Texas Avenue, and the rumors of the city have ceased to exist.

Shumake reported that she is excited to visit Bryan once more with the intent to discover all that the town has to offer.

 

— Haudi Arabia