Love Me Tinder: Lonely “Lola” Lighter Takes Tinder

“Damn girl, you’re hot.”

This past week, I took my loneliness to a new low and created a Tinder profile under the name “Lola Lighter”. Apparently, “Lonely” isn’t a “real name”. Let’s just say sparks flew, and 152 matches later, I picked my favorite flames to share with you all.


Who knew flames could be so sexy?

1. Some people did not seem to care at all that they were talking to a lighter.





At least this one seemed a little excited.

2. Others just wanted to figure me out.






They obviously missed their opportunity with this flame.

3. Most people were really good at grammar.





I never figured out who Tony was.


I’m not entirely sure what this one was even supposed to say.

4. These charmers just made it too easy, so I did what lighters do best.





Double burn.

5. It was obvious that some of these boys listen to too much Drake. 0 to 100, real quick.





Zero. The answer is zero because have you seen what people say on here?


Gag me. Wait, that didn’t come out right.

6. A few got a good laugh out of the whole thing.





7. At least one may have been on the wrong app.



8. I tried singing a little to lighten the mood. It didn’t really work.
Thank you Billy Joel and Barry Manilow.


He really went for it and made up his own lyrics.



At the Copacabana, don’t fall in love.

9. And then the puns. All the puns.
These people actually tried to kindle a relationship with a lighter.







And here we have a perfect, literal description of the life of a lighter. Bravo, sir. Bravo.



Skeptics. Am I right?




It was fun for a while, and then it got really old.


10. I did let a few people see my true, lonely soul.





In short, I feel pretty confident in my decision to never get a personal Tinder. If this is what the future holds for dating, I am pretty freaking terrified.

Lonely Lighter

What We Found Hidden in the UT Fight Song will Shock and Disturb You

-Honey Bear

The 10 Cutest Corps Guys on Campus

1. This adorable couple of corgis beneath the Century Tree.
1 - Century Tree

2. These corps guys are the best of friends.
2 - MSC

3. They’re just so excited to get their picture taken with Sully!

4. Workout today was ruff! Washing up at the end of a long day.
4 - Bath

5. This corgi being a model student at the library!
5 - Evans

6. This BQ strutting his stuff. So proud to represent A&M!
Now Forming in the end zone at Kyle Field - the Fightin' Texas Aggie Band

7. Corps guys just love fall weather.
7 - Fall Weather

8. Chowing down with friends!
8 - Duncan

9. You can hear these cute corps guys barking early in the morning. It’s just so great to be in the corps!
9 - Quad

10. And then there’s this b****.
10 - Hullaballoo

-Marco Ovo Queso Polo

Shameful Self Promotion: Follow us on Facebook and Twitter (@Mugdown) for more stories and pictures of cute corps guys! If that doesn’t satisfy you, take a peek at some of our older, vintage posts.

A big thanks to Cassandra Wilson Photography for the photo of the Corps Boots on Military Walk. We had an intern accidentally use her photo without permission. He has since been flayed as an example to the others.
“Always site your sources, ya heathens” -Pope Francis

What was Really Found in the Steam Tunnels will Blow You Away!

What was really found in the steam tunnels will blow you away!

The steam tunnels of Texas A&M University . . . everybody’s favorite rumor. Whole websites are devoted to the possible explanation of why they exist.

TexAgs can’t stop talking about what they might contain.

Screen Shot 2014-12-08 at 11.00.59 AM
Screen Shot 2014-12-08 at 11.01.15 AM

This website, by the famous TI Cartographer, details the steam tunnels extensively.

Screen Shot 2014-12-08 at 11.02.48 AM

Complete with photos and a map for exploring!

Screen Shot 2014-12-08 at 11.03.48 AM

Even we aren’t immune to the natural wonder of the steam tunnels!

The Marooner's Map

Well the Mugdown sent some journalists down to the steam tunnels to discover what might really lie below.

We found . . . STEAM!

Screen Shot 2014-12-08 at 11.05.36 AM



Who knew the steam tunnels contained steam? Not us! But now we do, and so do you.

-Sbisa Cookie

18 Buildings on Campus That We Literally Can’t Even

  1. Heldenfels Hall
    Too many stairs. I literally can’t even.


  1. Rudder Tower
    So tall! I didn’t know we could have buildings over four stories! I literally can’t even!


  1. Memorial Student Center
    Never. Any. Seats. Nah, it’s cool. I don’t mind eating my Panda on the floor like an animal. Literally. Can’t. Even.


  1. Kyle Field
    Like, be finished already. Like I can even literally not!

  1. Wehner Building
    I feel underdressed in my sweatpants, and that’s, like, not okay. Literally can’t words no speakin even not the feels.

  1. Academic Building
    Such a big dome and pretty seal. Academic Building proves every day it is the prettiest building on campus. #Flawless I literally can’t odd.

  1. (PEAP) Physical Education Activity Program Building
    Ugh, so far away. I can’t walk there because I don’t want to work out before I work out. Like who can even that?

  1. Biochemistry Building (AgCafe)
    My wifi is such a tease. If it were an even, it can’t!



  1. Blocker Building
    Did you know it’s more than two stories? And people actually use floors besides the first and second??
    Mind = Blown. Literally even = Can’t.

  1. Zachry Engineering Center
    How can you tell if someone’s an engineering major? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. They’ll tell you they can’t even.


  1. Chemistry Building
    The H2O fountain out front is shaped like an H2O molecule. H2Ohhhhh. H2Can’t evennn.

  1. Commons
    Freshmen inside. Enter at own risk. L1t3r@lly c@n+ 3v3n.

  1. West Campus Library
    Much crowd. Many packed. So even. Literally can’t.

  1. Evans Library
    Wouldn’t be too bad if I didn’t have to study in fear of the Fourth Floor Flasher. That’s a can’t I don’t want to even.

  1. (HECC) Harrington Education Center Classroom Building
    I’m pretty sure this is the building for classes that weren’t important enough to fit in their own college’s buildings. Who even could cannot literally?

  1. Koldus Building
    SGA, literally as effective as my even can!

    sponsored by The Machine. Enjoy Responsibly.
  1. Reed Arena
    -Jennifer Marten

  1. Sbisa Dining Hall
    Sbisa. Obese-uh. Sgrease-uh. Shaniqua. #CantEvenUh


-Honey Bear

Professor of Religious Studies Encourages Students to “Put the X Back in X-mas”

You may be hearing a new rally cry throughout campus this holiday season. Instead of the normal “Keep Christ in Christmas,” Dr. Jim Nail,  Professor of Religious Studies, is encouraging his students to “put the X back in X-mas.”

Following Thanksgiving break, students have been heard complaining about the excessive number of questions from Aunt Barb and Uncle Joe on why they were not in a relationship. These came before the complaints about grandma’s lack of grandchildren. Professor Nail decided to campaign for change before Christmas break.

“The solution to this problem is simple, really. It lies in the folder of screenshots and awkward girl’s-hand-on-the-guy’s-stomach-like-he-is-expecting-a-child couple pictures on our computers. You know, the ones with our exes, that we tell our friends we deleted,” said Professor Nail.

He explained, “The best way to avoid questions about your relationship status is to get back with your ex. Whether it just be for a few key events, like Christmas dinner or New Year’s Eve, or even for a longer commitment, bringing your ex back for Christmas is an easier way to deal with your family’s constant questions than downing numerous glasses of wine.”

Professor Nail suggests looking back at those old screenshots and stalking your former significant other’s Twitter favorites, in order to see what their idea of a relationship goal looks like.

If you are unable to make yourself look like Zac Efron or Carrie Underwood while also studying for finals in the short time between Thanksgiving and Christmas break, the easiest way to get your ex back is to bribe them with the things that they like best. “This could be free food, free alcohol, cheesy compliments, or good morning texts,” said Professor Nail.

The truth is that you know your ex best, and the chance of finding a new soulmate over the next two weeks of studying for finals while almost everyone, including yourself, looks like death incarnate is slim.

Professor Nail recommends starting slow with a simple “Hey, how have you been!” or a quick “I heard [insert your relationship song here] on the radio and thought of you. Hope everything is going well” text. Eventually, this should lead to a meal or “watching Netflix” depending on how receptive your ex is.

In fact, it may be possible to create an agenda of holiday events for which you will need each other to be present, and a payment of sorts can be arranged for each event. Who knows, maybe you will rekindle the flame and kiss your ex under the mistletoe.

Because if all else fails, the Mugdown suggests simply sitting down with your ex over a bowl of queso and attacking the issue head on. Being pestered about your relationship status at family meals is a problem that plagues many, and we know that your ex is facing the same dilemma.

-Marco Ovo Queso Polo

Portable Fish Pond to Hit the Road Next Season

With the 2014 Texas A&M football season coming to a close, many Aggie fans are looking forward to a promising fresh start—one equipped with a new defensive coordinator, a fully renovated Kyle Field, and the number one high school quarterback recruit in the nation–which all serve to indicate great things to come. However, among the many exciting changes that will be gracing Aggieland next fall, one proposed change has many students concerned.

The Texas A&M Traditions Council recently signed off on a proposition that creates and permits the use of a mobile Fish Pond: a large, inflatable pool that will accompany the football team on all away games. The “Porta-Pond”, as it’s been dubbed, will serve as a stand-in following road victories in which travelling members of the Corps of Cadets will subdue the Yell Leaders and toss them in.

“This is an opportunity to expand one of our campus’s most beloved traditions,” said Alexandra González, chairwoman of the Traditions Council. “An A&M victory truly is not complete without sealing it with a Yell Leader swim. We do not see any reason why this tradition should be restricted to home games.”

Supporters of this new tradition cite Texas A&M’s impressive win record in road games over the last three seasons with head coach Kevin Sumlin leading the Aggies to a remarkable 14 away wins—11 of which were against top 25 ranked teams.

While there is no denying A&M’s laudable away record, some students are concerned that broadening this tradition will hold negative consequences.

“Winning at Kyle Field is a special and rare experience,” said Thomas Hundley, a sophomore agricultural business major who opposes the Porta-Pond. “And I would hate to water down that treasured moment by diluting this tradition.”

Discussions are expected to continue throughout the offseason, but for now it seems to be the case that if we cannot bring the Yell Leaders to the fish pond, we can certainly bring the fish pond to the Yell Leaders.

-Riffety Raff


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,149 other followers

%d bloggers like this: