Breakaway

Christian Bubble Bursts, Floods Reed Arena

COLLEGE STATION, TX — At Breakaway on Tuesday night, the Christian bubble at Texas A&M burst.

At the crescendo of the famous song by David Crowder, “How He Loves”, the bubble became so full of raised hands and loud voices that it simply could not hold up any longer. The pop echoed throughout College Station, causing waves in every fountain on campus.

“It was amazing,” Breakaway speaker Ben Stuart said. “I could really feel the Spirit moving.”

Reed Arena employees immediately called the fire department, as well as the company that dried the Blocker Building out to clean up the mess. Students were carried out on the backs of other students. The occasional “Carry each other’s burdens” resounded through the arena.

No serious injuries have been reported, but tales of humble service have been flooding social media.

“PTL for the Godly man who rescued me from Reed tonight. Meet me at Mugwalls tomorrow?” tweeted sophomore psychology major Sarah Abrahams.

Speculation is heavy as to why the bubble suddenly burst on Tuesday. Jeff Johnson, worship leader of Breakaway, has reportedly played that song multiple times. The bubble had stayed intact until that moment.

Many believe the explosion is the result of recent massive expansion of the bubble. The release of Impact counselor emails on Monday and subsequent reveal nights have strained the wall of the bubble to its breaking point.

“Yeah, I was just at Breakaway with my new camp when we heard this huge pop and then total chaos—shout out to Omega Naphtali though!” John Mark Davidson, freshman RPTS major, said.

Whatever the reason, the bubble has burst. University authorities have taken steps to ensure the cleaning of Reed Arena. As for the bubble, students say that its flood is still persisting and will not be contained or controlled in the foreseeable future.

-Lone Star Lady

The 12th Million Dollar Man Featured Image

The 12th (Million Dollar) Man – Sunday Comic

The 12th Million Dollar Man

Aggies Q-Drop Ole Miss

Aggies to Q-Drop Ole Miss Loss

I’ve seen ‘em lose, and I’ve seen ‘em win. And now I’ve seen ‘em quit. The Aggies lost to the Ole Miss Rebels 35-20 in a game that was less close than the score indicated.

Fortunately, undergraduate football teams are normally permitted four Q-Drops during their collegiate careers. After using three of them to eliminate losses against the Tigers from last season, the Aggies have decided to Q-Drop their most recent loss.

Aggies Q-Drop Ole Miss

When a student decides to Q-Drop a class, there is no longer an incentive for them to show up to lectures. It became clear that the Aggies were going to be dropping this game by the end of the third quarter and fans left accordingly.

“We’ve been preaching consistency in practice and our boys delivered,” Coach Kevin Sumlin said after the game. “They have consistently underperformed these last three weeks. Fortunately with the Q-Drop, our guys have a chance to start over fresh.”

While Q-Dropped losses do not affect the AP or Coaches rankings, the losses are removed from the official team scoreboard. Now, the Aggies can live in a blissful ignorance about their abilities for at least one more week.

Just be glad we scheduled a cupcake game in Tuscaloosa this Saturday.

-Cactus Jack

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An Open Letter from Your Bus Driver

Some people hate me. Some people don’t even realize I exist. However, some people will follow me to the ends of the earth. I am your humble Spirit Bus driver, and I’ve embarked on a quest to experiment on the fragile minds of the students of Texas A&M.

Jason Hurdle once sprinted a quarter mile along side my door in hopes that I would let him in.

Hayden Thumps started beating the door as I drove past his Route 15 stop.

In your weakest moments, I flash the “Out of Service” notice.

But my favorite shade of desperation is the long-distance haul. As a driver, when you see someone a good distance away that you know is coming for your bus, you have two choices, really: wait or drive away.

I personally like to toy with my prey. I see them coming, make sure to lock eyes to show them that I see them. Then, I shut my door. This puts an extra bit of desperation in their eyes. They increase speed. Next, I take off the parking brake to show them that I’m ready to move. This is the kiss of death to them. They now have two choices: haul (red)ass to my bus or give up and wait for the next bus.

It’s during this internal strife that I am at my best. As soon as I see which decision they’ve made, I act.

Tuesday morning, I was sitting in my Route 6 bus outside the MSC. I saw Heather White just passing Rudder Statue. I had only just arrived, but she didn’t know this. For all she knew, I was ready to depart. As she made her way through the ‘free speech zone’ she must have thought she had a shot at making my bus. When she made it to the eye contact phase, I locked eyes and nodded. She showed relief. Then, I closed my door, this caused her to do a skip step to pick up her pace. Just as soon as she began at the new faster pace, I lifted my brake. She made an all-out sprint, almost knocking over an elderly professor to reach me.

Now, usually, once I’ve seen them commit, I take off and leave them running for nothing, but this one was special. She ran as hard as she could until she reached me. Once she was on board, I waited four whole minutes to depart.

Welcome to my world, you are all just along for the ride.

-Commons Lobbyist

Voting Guide Featured Image

Rock the Vote: Mugdown’s Guide to Fall Elections

With the year’s most anticipated election upon us, we take to social media to learn more about this years candidates. Where, besides Twitter, can one find valuable and objective information concerning a candidate’s viewpoints? Unless someone made a website for their Freshman Class President campaign, you probably can’t find it anywhere. That’s why the Mugdown is here to help. It’s time to Rock the Vote!

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 11.46.32 AMCampus may be rid of campaign banners, but social media is never safe.

The beauty of the fall election is that it doesn’t matter.

Scratch that. Actually, if you are a freshman or one of the dozens of people who weren’t elected in the spring, it may matter to you. I’m not saying that this election isn’t a big deal, voting is important. Mark my words, The Mugdown loves democracy. We just love the petty and over-the-top campaigning part of democracy the most.

With that, it’s time for some Freshman Class President Election campaign analysis courtesy of our friends over at #TAMU18.

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 11.47.53 AMYes. Freshman Class President.

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Be an informed voter. Go to bres4pres.com for more pics of flaming footballs.

Wait a second. SOMEONE ACTUALLY MADE A WEBSITE??

Just because you don’t have a website, doesn’t mean you don’t care. Take Donya for instance. Before you vote on Thursday, he wants you to, and I quote, “TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOUR PETS EVEN FAMILY LETS GET A BLACK GUY IN OFFICE IM NOT OBAMA THO!”

Now that is a promising candidate. Let’s go to Twitter and see what else he has to say.

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 11.52.42 AMRT to help Donya get punctuation.

Someone needs to remind these candidates that this is not a student body president election. What’s that? About half of these people are probably going to run for SBP in three years? Nevermind. Our next two candidates are using social media to push election facts.

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 11.53.28 AM
Putting money on this picture being recycled for his SBP campaign

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 11.54.04 AMI think he meant holla, but who knows? Holl could be some confusing new word, like Trill.

We saved the best for last. Actually, we legally cannot say that. Donya paid us good money to endorse him and this would be breaking our contract.

That last part isn’t true.

What is true is that it looks like the Corps may not make an endorsement this year, because two Fish Cadets are running. Also, who the hell gets endorsements when they are running for FRESHMAN CLASS PRESIDENT? But if I was a gambling man, I’d say O’Rourke probably has the advantage. Check out this tweet. He’s a servant, y’all.

Screen Shot 2014-10-02 at 11.54.40 AMPoor fish doesn’t know that we elect power hungry and insincere people every year . . . They’re called senators.

You may be wondering why we didn’t cover senate elections. If you are, you’re probably campaigning for student senate yourself and just wanted the publicity. Don’t get your panties in a wad though. Even if you are elected, statistics show that you are probably going to drop out before your term anyway.

There’s a special club for people that last a full term. It meets at O’Bannons and it’s run by Cary Cheshire.

Sorry for the rant. I’m a bit jaded. Now that you are an informed voter, the choice is yours. There is a pointless election today and a bunch of freshmen that want your vote are waiting.

Be a good Ag and go to vote.tamu.edu today and tomorrow. Election results should be announced Friday evening after all 200 votes have been counted.

-Cactus Jack

Scoreboard

Kyle Field Scoreboard Adds 15 Pounds

After complaints by fans that the scoreboard added the Freshman 15 a bit too early in the year, the Kyle Field media staff took a hard look at their equipment to make sure everything was square.

The video board, now the largest in the country, was made to maximize image quality, but the unintended consequence was maximizing several people’s beer bellies.

University officials were not able to determine what is causing the image to appear so wide until Friday evening. Trying to avoid culpability, several university administrators pointed to other flaws on campus to shift blame.

“I would take a good hard look at dining services,” said Athletic Director Eric Hyman. “Some of them look like the students who ate the 12th Man.”

Dining services quickly pushed the blame away from themselves, citing evidence that outsourced food actually decreases students appetites.

“Because the lowest dining option is $600, many students don’t even eat on campus,” Fred Wencel, the Senior Director of Food Operations, said. “I would be surprised if the weight gain was our fault. We try to deter students from eating on campus.”

After a week of finger-pointing and name-calling the problem was finally discovered. It turns out that a ridiculously rectangular screen was stretching the image. Because of the image crisis, 12th Man Productions immediately made the shift to a new experimental camera developed by a joint task force of engineering students and the liberal arts college.

The shift in camera equipment will only have minor costs, allowing the projected total to be $200 million to switch to the new cameras. It will be added to the Kyle Field Redevelopment budget.

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-Commons Lobbyist

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