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WHICH FLO DO YOU BELONG IN?

Forget the banners. Forget the informationals. Forget the endless tank-top wearing sophomores asking if you are Class of 2018 or not.

The FLO Chart is here.

Backed by years of research and data gathered from all corners of campus, the FLO Chart is proven to ease the worries of which Freshmen Leadership Organization you want to join. Here at the Mugdown we guarantee 100% satisfaction and a stress-free decision making process. All you need to do is follow the flow….

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-Sbisa Cookie and Honey Bear

MSC Open House

MSC OPEN HOUSE LEAVES POTENTIAL BUYERS SCARED AND CONFUSED

This Sunday, thousands of students and ones of buyers crowded into the Memorial Student Center to participate in the MSC Open House. The MSC Open House is a biannual Texas A&M tradition allowing new students to discover student organizations in the fun and relaxed atmosphere of being slowly trampled to death.

The confused buyers and their equally puzzled real estate agents did not understand how so many young college students had the resources to potentially invest in such prime real estate. A few were panicked at the prospect of a bidding war breaking out between so many people.

“I’ve never seen an open house quite like it. As far as the property goes, I wasn’t sure how the quidditch cosplayers were supposed to win me over, but the belly dancers brought me back on board,” said James Bockman, a local real estate agent for Aggieland Properties. “I even met a Democrat!”

Not everyone was so enthusiastic. Frightened buyers and agents alike were found hiding from the mob by admiring the carpet beneath the tables they took cover under and commenting on the great open floor plan of the bathroom stalls in which they hid.

However, a few had the courage to brave the crowd. “One of the poor things was trying to place a bid with an improv group when I spotted him,” said Elizabeth Armstrong, a student worker, “The hapless man thought himself the owner of every blue couch in the Flag Room, any room he could name while pinching his tongue, and an invisible penguin named Frank.”

For a full four hours, the attendants of the open house were jostled around between hundreds of similarly distinctive organizations, but despite the mayhem, most managed to escape with both their lives and a small rainforest’s worth of fliers.

-Honey Bear

Drivers Convention Featured Image

Sunday Comic – Annual College Station Drivers’ Convention – 9/6/2014

Here’s this week’s SUNDAY comic. Yup, our SUNDAY comic. Ya know, cuz it’s SUNDAY and all. *cough* Yeah, okay, um, here’s  the comic. Click to see it full resolution.

Annual College Station Drivers Convention

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LLAC: How to Not Be a Total Freshman

The Lonely Lighter Advice Column on:
How to Not Be a Total Freshman

Hey Lonely,
I’m a freshman here at Texas A&M, but I keep hearing everyone talk about how annoying and oblivious freshmen are. I don’t want to be “that freshman”.  How does a fish hide that he’s a fish? Any advice for keeping my true self under wraps?
Thanks,
Fish in the Closet

 

Hey Flounder,
There’s no way to stop being a fish, but with enough practice and a few pointers, you may just be able to trick people into thinking you’re something you’re not! If you really want the secret to blending into the more mature, suave crowd, here are a few tips on how not to look like a total freshman.

  1. You didn’t actually know yourself in high school. At the very least, who you were in high school was lame. Really think about who you are and make the appropriate changes.
    Most freshmen aren’t brave enough to make bold changes coming right into college, but just going for it really makes you stand out as someone who is mature enough to really know himself or herself on a deeper level. Go by your middle name; drastically change your haircut or hair color; find a tattoo that expresses the new you, and plaster it across your back. Maybe these aren’t even things you want to do, but try them out anyways! Whether you change your wardrobe or your vocabulary, you will be much happier knowing that you chose your identity.
  2. Read all of your syllabi before you go to your classes.
    Syllabi are horrendously undervalued tools to classroom success. They are literally written instructions to pass class that semester, and students making A’s in that class will be able to practically quote them. However, don’t think that means you have to read them all. You’ll spend your first week going over syllabi. Pick a class at random and read its syllabus. All syllabi are essentially the same, so you’ll be set for all your classes for the week after that.  If you really want to impress your professors, learn this easy trick for success.
  3. You only get one first impression – dress up for class.
    Don’t be that kid who obviously is exercising their newfound independence by not showering.  Professors, TAs, and classmates are deciding, even on that first day, who is worth their time, who really deserves that help on their homework or the extra bump at the end of the semester. Practice your handshake, introduction, and that charming smile and introduce yourself to your professor so that you really can seal the deal. It truly stands out when you are one of the 40 people at the end of class that introduces themselves and reiterates how excited they are for this class!
  4. Remember, the lanyard is your most valuable accessory.
    Look around you and count how many of your on-campus-peers are already investing in the handy handless technique of the lanyard. The lanyard is the ideal item to carry your dorm key and Student ID around. Just punch a hole in the corner of your ID and clip it around your neck. You’ll never have to dig for it in your purse or wallet again! Because lanyards come in so many different styles, there is sure to be one out there that matches your personality perfectly!
  5. Be sure to Add/Follow everyone you meet on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as soon as you meet them – maybe even while you’re standing there talking to them.
    IT’S NOT CREEPY. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are your social encyclopedia for the next four years. If you want to be able to keep track of everyone you’ve met, you actually have to do this. Most people find their friends don’t care enough. By adding them immediately, it shows how committed you are to your new friendship. Be sure to remind them to accept your friend request! Otherwise, you and your friends will find yourselves horribly embarrassed when you don’t remember each other’s names for the fourth time. Additionally, you will always have something to talk about by bringing up that thing they did in high school that you saw while you were creeping through scrolling past their photos on social media!
  6. If you want to be well known and well loved, The Aggie Class of 2018 group on Facebook makes that really easy. (Click HERE to join now!)
    The Aggie Class of 2018 is a great resource for just about anything. Post on the wall all the time to start meaningful discussion with your fellow classmates. Topics ranging anywhere from “What is your spirit animal?” to “How do you feel about abortion/ Obama/healthcare/gay rights/legalization of weed/Gaza/ the fact that children in Africa have no clean water/the possibility of life in outer space?” are all acceptable topics. The more you post, the better you will be known. Even consider starting your campaign for Student Body President or Junior Yell Leader right now!
  7. Experiment.
    This can generally be left up to your own interpretation. Go forth and conquer.
  8. Never forget that today could be the day you meet your future husband/wife.
    Someone is always watching, and you never know if that someone could actually be “The One”. Believe what you want to, but very reliable sources on Yahoo Answers tell me that a great majority of people have already met their future spouse by age 18. THAT IS YOUR AGE. YOU COULD LITERALLY MEET THEM IN YOUR NEXT CLASS. With this in mind, don’t hesitate to sit next to that cutie you’ve been eyeing on the third row or to say yes to that Fish in the Corps who has now asked you to Midnight Yell for the third time.
  9. Speak exclusively in Aggie-isms and acronyms.
    If you want to prove that you really know the culture at Texas A&M, say “Howdy” to everyone you pass. Use words like “Good Bull” and “Redass” often. Learn what “Poor Yorick’s” was and where “The Quad” is. The acronyms are just as important as the colloquialisms.  If you don’t know what the letters MSC, HECC, O&M, FHK, FLO, DG, BG, CT, BQ, RA, TA, CA, GA, CStat, TAMC, NG, DD, IGDIYT, TFM, and GDI signify, you will be totally lost. Don’t worry, your phone’s autocorrect will catch up soon enough.
  10. Join lots and lots and lots of organizations.
    You quickly learn that the only way to feel like a part of Texas A&M is to get involved on campus. Organizations are a great way to meet people and put to good use all that free time. When your mom starts to worry about when you will have time to study for that big math exam, just kindly remind her that it’s not the grades you make, but the hands you shake. The Aggie Network doesn’t have its renown for nothing.

 I hope this article will help you navigate your freshman year, Flounder. Follow these simple rules and I promise no one will ever know you’re a fish!
With love,
Lonely Lighter

P.S. Fake ID’s from Rhode Island are the best way not to look like a freshman on Northgate.

Have your own questions? Need a little life advice? We’ve got great news for you! Lonely Lighter answers questions from schmucks like you every week! If AskAgs scares you and you know your friends judge you, send your questions to lonelylighteradvice@gmail.com!

Rush Week 2

RUSH WEEK OVER, ONLY FOUR SUICIDES

The TAMU Panhellenic Community was relieved to learn that by the end of this year’s stressful Recruitment Week, only four girls had committed suicide — an all time low. Many feared the record number of young women entering such a stressful environment would lead to a spike in the suicide rate. Thankfully, that was not the case.

Still, the week was not without its tragedies. “I was so excited for my daughter to go through Recruitment like I did during my time at A&M. It breaks my heart that she would make a decision like this. She had so much potential,” said Susan McKinney, mother of one of the victims.

A week of sleepily trudging through the Texas heat left many girls with nightmares of wiping sweat away with coffee filters while sorority girls screeched and clapped in unison. These haunting flashbacks proved to break four of this year’s young, normally strong-willed women.

Among them was Kasey McKinney, who was found Saturday morning on the floor of her bathroom after crying herself to sleep the night before.

Additional stress was added to this year’s recruitment process due to the banning of Chick-fil-A products for all current and potential sorority members. “I would kill myself before going a week without Chick-fil-A,” said Brittani Wyler, a current member of Kappa Alpha Theta.

Despite Wyler’s insensitive remarks, the TAMU community has reached out to the friends and family of those lost this year.

Bethany Nolan, the President of Texas A&M’s Collegiate Panhellenic Council, said “We can only hope that they can live with the decisions they made.  I just hate that these girls will have to wait until they are sophomores to go through recruitment again.”

-Honey Bear, Cactus Jack, and Bellamy Partridge

If you or someone you know was a victim of Recruitment Week, know that there are other options out there. If Chi O did not give you a bid, please, talk to someone who will: (979) 845-2700


The Mugdown Logo - Vera Bradley - Goes Greek

Which Sorority Are You?

Sorority Flow Chart

Johnny Gives the Bird Featured Image

Sunday Comic – Johnny Gives the Redskins The Bird – 5/10/2014

We’re not late on our comic. It’s definitely Sunday. Sunday, May 10th, 2014. We’re totally on time and haven’t been sitting on our butts watching Netflix and not writing articles all summer. So, put away your calendar and just trust us on this one. We’ve always been a reliable source. And now that our intern has finally recovered our password, we can post stories again! Go team! (Don’t worry. Said intern has been flayed and executed for his crimes against the realm. RIP Mark Dore.)

Now that we’re back, we’re sooo excited to end our lovely summer vacation so we can stay up late writing articles, drawing comics, and researching the delicious drama that is life at Texas A&M. Goodbye late-night alcohol-fueled parties and hello late-night coffee-fueled alcohol-fueled writing sessions.

You’re probably wondering why May 10th of all days to come back from our super short hibernation. Well, there’s one man that can perk up even the laziest journalist. And for those who didn’t hear, during their preseason game, Texas A&M’s darling Johnny Heisman gave the Redskins the bird. Forget the fact that NFL history is overflowing with the obscene gestures of its quarterbacks, because this time it was Johnny Manziel.

Johnny Gives the Redskins the Bird (small)Get psyched for a new semester with us. #MUGDOWNFORWHAT

-Honey Bear


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