With an overwhelmingly religious student population, Texas A&M is a common locus for Christianizing activities. And its local preachers have made their presence quite known at Texas A&M. They are the ones who can be seen passing out pocket-sized Bibles on campus during select times of the year, and reciting Bible verses when you are too busy stumbling in six-inch heels whilst trying to look sober for the bouncer.
But the bustle of campus is no match for the preachers’ striving efforts, and they have decided to take on a new approach: confronting the long lines of taco lovers at Torchy’s Tacos.
“Hunger is hunger, whether it is for knowledge or tacos,” said a local preacher. “We plan to communicate the word of God at this location because the people here ain’t going anywhere for a long time. And it is in these gluttons best interest to listen.”
Torchy’s Tacos unveiled its new College Station location on Oct. 16, and locals have been quite interested as to what a taco eating experience other than Fuego’s could be like. The restaurant has seen masses of people per day, and lines during peak time clock in at an average wait of 45 minutes.
“We could not think of a better place that needs saving than at a restaurant that advertises a diaper-wearin’ baby devil claiming to have ‘damn good’ tacos,” said another local preacher.
Upon entering the establishment, it is easy to see the restaurant is decorated with a hell motif. The counters are bright red and yellow and the walls hold a seven-foot tall mural of flames. It is a place where morals are forgotten and the deadly sin of gluttony takes over.
“These ‘damn good’ tacos are sending people to damnation!” said a worried preacher while nervously munching on a Trailer Park taco.
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