Student Dunks Ring in Orange Juice In Memory of Legendary Running Back

This past Friday, junior Johnny Yanes performed his ring dunk in orange juice to pay homage to his favorite NFL player, O.J. Simpson, following the athlete’s death on April 10th.

Yanes had long admired Simpson for his status as one of the greatest running backs of all time.

“Juice has been my hero ever since I was a kid growing up on old Bills tapes,” Yanes said.  “Dunking in orange juice is the least I can do to keep his memory alive, especially since his football career has been overshadowed by… well, you know.”

Presumably, Yanes was alluding to the murder case of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, though he pretended not to know anything about the trial when questioned. Yanes did, however, wear black leather gloves for the dunk that seemed to be a size too small.

“I’m sure his last moments were ones of happiness, surrounded by all the family members he didn’t kill — not a bad way to go out,” Yanes said. “I mean, sure, maybe he did some other stuff during his lifetime, but over 11,000 rushing yards? Rest in peace, king. Now he’s driving that big white Bronco in the sky.”

— Batt-atouille