Graduating Senior Finally Grows Up
Swiftly coming to terms with the reality of his future in corporate America, senior business management major and active member of a men’s social organization Jordan Michaels realized how absolutely awful all of this is now. “I remember my first ever Unicorn Cum shot like it was yesterday,” Michaels... Read more
Local Church Offers Evening Service for Hungover Students
In an attempt to increase student attendance, Central Fellowship Bible Church: North Campus (CFBCNC) has begun offering evening services to cater to students who spend most of their Sundays recovering from hangovers. These new services will occur at 5 p.m and will offer gatorade and other electrolyte-filled snacks. Students... Read more
Tutoring Service to Offer $1 Wells, $2 Domestics Before Finals Week
4.0 and Go’s Northgate location will be offering specials this week to prepare for upcoming final examinations. While group tutoring rates will stay at $8+ per hour, the tutoring service will be serving Northgate-esque beverages at a discounted price. Founded in 1994, 4.0 and Go has long been located... Read more
Northgate Bars to Hand out Relationship Status Bracelets
All bars on Northgate have announced that they will begin handing out color-coded bracelets for patrons to display relationship statuses that will help minimize awkward social interactions. “This is going to be a game changer,” said frequent Northgate patron Chad Williams. “I try to only hit on girls that... Read more
Involved Student Admits to Hating Logie’s, Loses All Friends
Junior accounting major Braydon McAdams had it all. He was the Head Director of FLiP. He served as a Fish Camp counselor in two consecutive face camps and was on track to become a chair and make a face camp of his very own. He was accepted into Century... Read more
Women Go to Northgate, Excited for Night of Being Disrespected
Every weekend, the women of College Station look forward to nights full of disrespect and undesired attention from inebriated male suitors. They spend hours doing their hair, putting on makeup, and picking the perfect outfit to look just right for an uncomfortable encounter with a potential new man to... Read more
Mugdown Lowdown: How to Have the Perfect 21st Birthday
It is a well known fact that the most important day in any young Aggie’s life is the day they turn 21— Ring Day and graduation pale in comparison to the feeling of being able to legally consume alcohol. It is only right that such a monumental event is... Read more
The 14 Best Aggie Halloween Costumes
Sexy Reveille Requires: Dog ears, fur trimmed dress, maroon or white shawl (optional), and an open invitation for people to call you a b**** all night. Bonus for Couples: bring your handler and see how many interpret the costume as a statement on gender roles. Sexy Corps Cadet Requires: a... Read more
Waffles (and a Wedding Ring) for Ags
Instead of the usual slurring of “Let’s go to Fuego!” or drunk girls screaming “Oh my gosh, this is my song!”, students may be hearing a new phrase on Northgate thanks to sophomore Biology major Ashley Smith. In a town where the only late night bites include the ever... Read more
Bottles may be up, but drinking and driving is down. Carpool, a student organization of designated drivers, has found a successful new way to convince weekend drinkers to hand over the keys: a freaking “Cash Cab”. “Cash Cab” is a game show held within a taxi where passengers are... Read more

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