Entire Gay Community Shows Up at Party
Unease permeated the gay community at Texas A&M, as many realized that the entire population of gay Aggie men attended Olivia Ellmont’s 21st Birthday Bash. “I saw on Facebook that my friend, Brandon, and his boyfriend, Ian, were coming to Olivia’s thing—which was cool because it’s always awkward showing... Read more
Local Church Offers Evening Service for Hungover Students
In an attempt to increase student attendance, Central Fellowship Bible Church: North Campus (CFBCNC) has begun offering evening services to cater to students who spend most of their Sundays recovering from hangovers. These new services will occur at 5 p.m and will offer gatorade and other electrolyte-filled snacks. Students... Read more
Student Skips Class, Inadvertently Allows Rise of Next Totalitarian Dictator
Last night, Garrett Junger forgot to set his alarm and will inadvertently cause America’s first dictator to rise to power. Without knowledge of the dystopian future he set into motion by hitting “end” rather than “snooze,” Junger’s decision, alone, will influence the entire course of history. Adam Salomon left... Read more
Corps of Cadets Institutes Casual Fridays
The Commandant’s Office released a bold statement Wednesday regarding uniform policy for the Corps of Cadets. After many years of deliberation, Brigadier General Joe E. Ramirez, Commandant of the Corps of Cadets, has instituted “Casual Fridays,” a policy that allows cadets to wear clothing of their choice to Friday... Read more
Letter Exposes Fish Camp Conspiracy to Dismantle Aggie Spirit
Early Wednesday morning, The Mugdown discovered a mysterious letter outside of the Fish Camp office in Koldus. The note was written by an unknown author with the moniker “Wormwood,” describing a plot among Fish Camp co-chairs to “undermine the Aggie Spirit.”   The trail has run cold, and there... Read more
A&M Ranked No. 4 in Happiest Place to get the Flu
Texas A&M’s Division of Marketing and Communication has long had a favorite pastime of searching for obscure, meaningless rankings to post on social media. The department salivates whenever a naïve freshman retweets their post with a comment such as “So blessed to attend this wonderful university!” Recently, A&M was... Read more
5-Star Girlfriend Decommits From Relationship
Good news for rival recruiters, bad news for Cliff Mickelson: 5-star girlfriend Riley Cahill decommitted from her relationship with Mickelson Tuesday evening. Cahill, who had verbally committed to Mickelson last February, was once considered a locked-in prospect by the Mickelson camp. However, after official visits with her friends and... Read more
A&M Student Comes out as Having Openly Gay Roommate
Things were going well at dinner with his parents for junior political science major Ralph Gutierrez on Sunday until he let a nugget of personal information slip: one of his roommates this year is openly gay. His parents didn’t sleep that evening, the owner of the Days Inn on... Read more
Student Shocked to Discover Existence of Women’s Sports at TAMU
Junior animal science major Draven Esposito was scrolling through Twitter earlier this month, periodically chuckling at cat videos, when he came across a shocking photo. This photo, nearly lost in a sea of basketball clips and airbrushed Yell Leader face shots, announced that the Texas A&M Women’s Soccer Team... Read more
Despite Recent Basketball ‘Noise,’ A&M Still an Equestrian School
Following Saturday night’s victory against the University of Kentucky, many students have taken to Twitter and Snapchat to celebrate that Texas A&M is now a “basketball school” despite the long history and success surrounding the university’s equestrian program. Athletic Director Scott Woodward insists that, although men’s hoops is currently... Read more