Aspiring Maroon Coat Regrets Joining MSC Abbott After First Family Story Night

During the first night of family stories, MSC Abbott newcomer Irene Stevenson was faced with a grueling task: hearing a two-hour story about her peer’s divorced parents.Stevenson recently received her acceptance to the 31st MSC Abbott Family Leadership Conference. While excited at the prospect of bolstering her chances of wielding an illustrious maroon coat this spring, Irene quickly realized how long the next four months of her life will be. 

 

While Stevenson was reportedly empathetic at first,  her emphatic nods and “Oh wow, that’s really powerful” got stale after the first forty-five minutes. As the clock struck 1:30 AM, eyewitness suggested Stevenson was imbued with fear as she realized that they had not even got to the maternal side of the family yet.

 

As the night went on, Stevenson reportedly asked a classmate next to her a series of questions: “Is this what selfless service looks like?” “Is not dozing off while someone talks about their custody trial what it takes to be a Maroon Coat?” “Perhaps Maroon Coats are not merely a sign of prestige, but also endurance?”

 

Perhaps true leadership is a forced, sleep-deprived therapy session masquerading as character building. Stevenson looks forward to  a very long four months ahead of her, filled with endless trauma dumps, Coco Loco breakfasts, and hopefully, for the select few, a maroon coat at the end of this long tunnel.

 

— Mugdown Staff