The Top 10 Women’s Bathrooms at Northgate, Ranked!

Have you ever drank too much and needed a women’s bathroom out at the Gates? Look no further, because here are the best ones we’ve got!

1. Rebel’s: Ah, the forgotten Rebel’s bathroom. None of your friends go, and there’s never a line between you and your bladder after Dollar Beers. Recently renovated, lightly cleaned. You can never go wrong using the bathroom here, ladies.
2. El Jefe: What El Jefe lacks in efficiency due to the long line and sweaty atmosphere, it makes up for with the overall aesthetic. There’s nothing I love more than almost pissing my pants while admiring that lovely plant in the corner, not to mention the great neon selfie opportunity with all of your best friends.
3. Logie’s: I’ll preface this one: The best time to use the Logie’s bathroom is pre-10:00 p.m. After you pass the bouncers, ignore the stickiness of the floors, and make your way to the bathroom, it’s smooth sailing, or uh, peeing. After 10:00 p.m., have a fun time peeing your pants in line.
4. Dragonfly: Light-up dance floor. Decent bathroom. Flower shots. Need I say more?
5. O’Bannon’s: The O’Bannon’s bathroom is a step above many, and I mean that quite literally. While you squeeze into a stall (unless you get the spacious handicap with a mirror), consider yourself lucky that you’re not at one of the bathrooms lower on this list.
6. Foundies: Are you the type to always go to the bathroom with your group of girlfriends? Then Foundies is the place for you. Wave upon wave of groups of girls enter this single person bathroom and give you the experience of dropping your pants to pee in front of girls you’ve never met before. Women empower women, amiright?
7. Mama Sake: Have you ever wanted to do cocaine while shitting?
8. Cedar Lane: Cedar Lane is by far the best bathroom on Northgate for networking. With all the other Mays Business School girlies at Dollar Beers, Cedar’s bathroom doubles as the unofficial Business Career Fair.
9. Dry Bean Saloon: If you don’t mind shoving your way to the very middle of the room full of sweaty bodies and unfriendly groups of olds, the Dry Bean’s bathroom is a dirty but private single-stall haven.
10. Dixie Chicken: Between the history of writing on the wall, lack of bathroom mirrors, and general uncleanliness, the Chicken’s bathroom leaves you dissatisfied but free of your bathroom urges. It’ll do the trick, but don’t expect A+ service – just like their bartenders.

Dishonorable Mention

Northgate Public Bathroom

Ew.

 

— Milidairy Walk