Thursday, November 21, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


What Northgate Spot Are You Based on Your Astrological Sign?

By Squat Pilgrim , in Clickbait , at March 1, 2022 Tags: , , , , , ,

Aries: Chimy’s 

You have great vibes, but you drive people crazy sometimes.

 

Taurus: The Corner

You’re dependable and there when someone needs you. You are the grandma friend.

 

Gemini: Tipsy Turtle

You’re fun to be around and bring out the truest version of people. Also great pickle shots!

 

Cancer: Logie’s

Something about you makes me want to spill my guts out to you. You make me feel warm inside, keep doing what you’re doing.

 

Pisces: Dry Bean

Too much. Something about you makes me want to spill my guts. In a vomit way.

 

Leo: Hurricane Harry’s

You have showoff tendencies, but you are also hilarious so it kind of cancels out.

 

Virgo: Cedar Lane

You’re tame for the most part, but you have your out-there moments.

 

Libra: The Backyard

You would be cooler if you stopped trying so hard! And if you were less passive aggressive.

 

Scorpio: O’Bannons

You have a resting bitch face. But you’re really cool in an understated way.

 

Sagittarius: Dixie Chicken

You wear your heart on your sleeve and everyone loves you for it. You never try to be someone you’re not.

 

Capricorn: Shiner Park

You’re straight to the point. With you, people always know what to expect. I will not elaborate.

 

Aquarius: Social

You change everything about yourself every six months to stand out. Is it working? Reflect.

 

— Squat Pilgrim