Total Psycho Defends Decision to Go Barefoot on Northgate

In a grainy video posted to Snapchat on Saturday night, junior microbiology major and known Northgate personality Kiera Towson could be seen barefoot on the dance floor at Icon Night Lounge. Following her viewing of this video, Towson, who has dedicated three years of her life to the study of microbial organisms such as bacteria and viruses, did not express any hint of embarrassment about her decision to raw dog it at the bar.

“I guess I just like, don’t understand what all the fuss is about,” Towson said. “Drunk me is just such an unpredictable, crazy gal, and it’s not like anyone got hurt. Sue me for wanting to have a good time!” Sources indicate Towson had consumed a single White Claw and one shot of Malibu, and she had even volunteered to drive her group to Northgate at the time her shoes ceased contact with her feet.

Those who were with Towson at the time of her decision to approach the bars toes-first detailed her rationalization of the choice. She began by referencing her extensive background in the field of microbial disease transmission before talking about “that guy she knows who works as a door guy at Draconian and has totally seen how clean they get it each night.” Following Towson’s wild night out, she trekked back across campus to get to her house, stopping in front of Sbisa to “wash something kinda sticky” off the bottoms of her feet in Fish Pond.

At press time, Towson had a next-day appointment at Beutel for an itchy, flaky rash that had developed on her right foot, but was, according to her, completely unrelated to her barefoot bar escapade.

 

— Flash it Back, Ags