Maroon Coats to Install Vanity Plates on Golf Carts
The Texas A&M Foundation recently announced that personalized vanity plates will soon be installed on Maroon Coats golf carts. The marketing move is in response to the rising sentiment within the organization that Maroon Coats have not received their expected amount of recognition lately.
The golf carts, often used to provide tours for donors and remind other students of their mediocrity, will be sporting the flashy new look beginning in fall 2021.
Not all “Coats” are looking forward to the change. Derrick Berg, a veteran member of the organization, is concerned that the vanity plates will attract blow-back from his peers. “My friends already mock me for being too successful and tall,” Berg said. “They jeer ‘Mr. Perfect’ at me. What new taunts will this encourage?”
The customized plates will incorporate Texas A&M University traditions and values with phrases like “H0WDY,” “S3LFL3SS S3ERVIC3,” and “$$$$$.”
— Aggie FacePlant
Ahhhh, a breath of stale College Station air thanks to yours truly. Environmentally conscious and clumsy at their core, Aggie FacePlant lives for the outdoors. Her leaves are full of secrets and her roots run deep throughout Texas A&M. She hides in camouflage but is always growing up something good. Is that poison ivy or cannabis? If Aggie FacePlant has anything to do with it, it’s probably both. Global warming is the least of your problems when Aggie Facplant is around.