Student Unsure if Being Offered Sexual Favor or Novelty Shot
Finance major Roger Nguyen was confused as to whether he was being offered a novelty shot or sexual favor at The Dry Bean Saloon Saturday night. The unclear proposition was reported to have been given by a female student whose identity is unknown at this time.
Nguyen talked with The Mugdown about the experience. “I noticed this girl looking at me and eventually she walks over, leans down and asks if I wanted some ‘rough, tough, real backdoor stuff’,” Nguyen recounted. “I’ve never heard about anyone doing that with a girl, but it also wasn’t on the menu so I was pretty unsure of how to handle it.” Witnesses describe Nguyen standing looking perplexed and beginning to form sentences only to stop talking and try to rephrase his response.
The exact nature of the offer remains uncertain because, as Nguyen was mentally forming a response, a friend of the woman began to violently vomit in the restroom. This act prompted the entire party to be escorted from the premises.
At press time, Nguyen’s Urban Dictionary searches had failed to clarify whether he was being offered an alcoholic beverage or a questionably legal sex act.
—Space Cadet
Space Cadet, oh, sweet, innocent, naive Space Cadet. Describing Space Cadet is difficult, but we will attempt to do him justice. Imagine a 120-pound, pale, 5’9, glasses-wearing, engineering Corps fish, that dreams of flying to the moon (though he would never pass that flight physical). Space Cadet spends his free time playing obscure card games and watching the live stream of the International Space Station.