Waffles (and a Wedding Ring) for Ags

Instead of the usual slurring of “Let’s go to Fuego!” or drunk girls screaming “Oh my gosh, this is my song!”, students may be hearing a new phrase on Northgate thanks to sophomore Biology major Ashley Smith.

In a town where the only late night bites include the ever popular Fuego, Taco Cabana or McDonald’s, Smith believed that something had to be done to bring the staple 24 hour, 7 days a week, open on all holidays Waffle House to College Station.

“Some of my fondest memories have been made in the horribly cleaned booths of a sketchy Waffle House at odd hours in the morning. Some of these experiences I do not remember, I’ll admit it,” said Smith. “But I do know that my All Star Special with scrambled eggs, a regular waffle, biscuits and gravy, sausage and a chocolate milk with water on the side is a staple in my late night diet, no matter how much regret I feel in the morning. And I knew that I needed to bring it to College Station.”

After spending “what seemed like hours” researching how to bring Waffle House to College Station, Smith figured out exactly how to do just that.

“In case you were unaware, which I’m sure you were, you cannot just decide to make a Waffle House. A current franchise owner is the only person who can create a new Waffle House. So I did what I had to do and found an owner and married the guy, making him promise to open a Waffle House in College Station.” said Smith. The nuptials were held over Spring break, including an open bar, a Fuego queso fountain and a Waffle House breakfast buffet for all.

The Waffle House will be built near the intersection of College Avenue and University Drive. Smith is unsure how this arrangement will work out due to the proximity of IHOP, but promises that “a drunk stomach prefers Waffle House to IHOP any day.”

Plans are in review to create a statue to forever memorialize the Aggieland deity for her hard work and sacrifice to bring consistently mediocre waffles to Ags.

-Marco Ovo Queso Polo