The Mugdown’s Guide to the 2015 Elections
The Mugdown’s “I Am Gig the Vote (And So Can You!)” A One Stop Guide to the SBP Elections This is the best time of the year to be in The Mugdown. It’s basically our Christmas. Many of you may be tired of having people yell at you and... Read more
Tsau Outsources Entire Campaign Team
It was revealed today that Isaiah Tsau, junior marketing major and student body president candidate, hired all members of his campaign team from Rice University. Throughout his campaign, Tsau has stressed the importance of diversity on campus and in local leadership. His crowning achievement was assembling the first campaign... Read more
Joseph Benigno Looking to Inherit Kyle Kelly’s Empire
An Empire may rise and fall, but one thing will always remain the same: for every sith, there is an apprentice. Student body presidents past refer to this as the “Rule of Two.” “I have had a successful career leading the Aggie Empire, but my time is drawing to... Read more
Michael Murtha Invites Aggie Leaders to “Bleed Maroon” at “Maroon Wedding”
Questions surrounding the details of Michael Murtha’s “Unification Council” have led Mugdown investigators to uncover a shocking plot: Murtha’s “Unification Council” is actually an elaborate ploy to gather all of the school’s leaders and eliminate them in one fell swoop. “He calls it the Maroon Wedding,” said a student... Read more
CIA Topples Oppressive Regime, 5 for Yell Off the Ballots
Since its founding in 1947, the Central Intelligence Agency has been dedicated to the promotion of freedom and American ideals throughout the world. From behind the Soviet Iron Curtain to the doorstep of the Taliban, their operatives specialize in wresting vestiges of freedom from under the oppressive boot of... Read more
Rock the Vote: Mugdown’s Guide to Fall Elections
With the year’s most anticipated election upon us, we take to social media to learn more about this years candidates. Where, besides Twitter, can one find valuable and objective information concerning a candidate’s viewpoints? Unless someone made a website for their Freshman Class President campaign, you probably can’t find... Read more
THE PICKERING FILES: The Machine (Part 3/3)
To read part 1 of this article, click here. To read part 2 of this article, click here. Although satirical in nature, all facts, names, and organizations used in this story are entirely true. This story aims to expose a well-established political machine that has been selecting the Student... Read more
THE PICKERING FILES: The Machine (Part 2/3)
To read part 1 of this article, click here. Although satirical in nature, all facts, names, and organizations used in this story are entirely true. This story aims to expose a well-established political machine that has been selecting the Student Body President for years. Public information used in this exposé... Read more
THE PICKERING FILES: The Machine (Part 1/3)
Although satirical in nature, all facts, names, and organizations used in this story are entirely true. Public information used in this exposé was found via AggieNetwork, Facebook, the Battalion and organizational websites. — “From the outside looking in, you can’t understand it. And from the inside looking out, you... Read more
BREAKING: Kasey Kram Wins Election
6:00 PM, FEBRUARY 21, 2014 — That’s right. You heard it here first. Out of what has been an incredibly heated election season, a winner has been announced. We beat The Batt to the punch on this one. Hell, we even beat the Election Commissioner on this one. Kasey... Read more