Service Dog Uniforms Changed to Discourage Smiling from Students
Pups for Pals, a Texas A&M organization that provides volunteers to train service dogs, announced this week that the phrase “Please Give Me Dirty Looks! I Haven’t Earned Kindness!” will be sewn into the right side of dogs’ vests. The updated vests, to be instated in January, will address... Read more
Geniuses Put Sticky Note Over Laptop Camera, Stop University From Spying on Them
Last semester, the Texas A&M student body found out that their very own university has been trying to crack down on cheaters and ne’er-do-wells by surveilling them through laptop webcams. After learning about the university hacking into their computers and spying on them, many students have been fighting back... Read more
Report: Construction Science Students Exploited for Free On-Campus Labor
It was recently uncovered that Texas A&M officials and professors have been using construction science students for free labor. With high construction costs a concern for this perpetually growing campus, staff of the university attempted to decrease costs by exploiting students. Many of the students did not realize that... Read more
Students Inconvenienced by Scholarship Banquet
An undue burden was placed on local student Ash Foucault after being forced to spend part of his Wednesday night at a scholarship banquet. Foucault, a senior supply chain major, was required to attend the two hour event during his regularly scheduled Netflix binge. The recipient of a departmental... Read more
Ignorant Student Mistakes Lecturer for Professor
Tensions have been growing among faculty members at Texas A&M after a student made a reckless mistake this week while addressing her teacher. Freshman accounting major Jamie Walsh found herself in an uncomfortable situation after she sent an email to her ACCT 229 lecturer that began “Dear Professor Shaw.”... Read more
Student Who is “Terrible at Names” Finally Admits to Not Even Really Trying
Kyle Erikson, a senior marketing major, has claimed for years that he is one of the worst at learning names and can only identify people by face. The issue has gotten so bad that when someone tells him their name, Erikson immediately forgets it and has to ask at... Read more
TAMU Student Finds Purpose in Belittling Blinn Students
Every year, new freshmen come to College Station to attend Texas A&M. Often, they have friends who end up in the desolate wasteland of Bryan, at the institution colloquially know as “Blinndergarten.” “I want to preface this by saying I am extremely smart,” said Ben Novak, freshman communication major,... Read more
Opinion: When is Student Senate Going to Condemn Nicholas Cage’s Character in National Treasure?
The Texas A&M Student Senate has been torn by partisanship in the past. Much like the actual federal government, legislators tend to disagree with each other, creating a more perfect union through a diversity of opinion. Yet, in its most recent legislative session, the organization has begun to actually... Read more
Another Bus Follows: A Transportation Horror Story
It’s late. Too late. You knew that this was a bad idea. But, then again, your roommate said it was too, and would it really be wrong of you to stay out late purely to let them know that they aren’t in charge of you? I mean, honestly, you... Read more
Students Protest Men’s Resource Center on Campus
Today on campus, students were in uproar over the new “Elect Him” campaign sponsored by the Men’s Resource Center. Students were visibly upset and denounced the new group as sexist, saying that it put other groups on campus at a disadvantage. Other students thought it was fair that the... Read more