Former Sophomore-by-Hours Excited to Claim New Title of Junior-by-Hours
Last Wednesday morning, thousands of Class of ‘25 students woke up thrilled to use the title Junior-By-Hours.
Passersby near the Northside dorms frequently report the use of the Sophomore-By-Hours title by students that transfered a few extra hours. Current sophomore Ricky Couchman ‘25, former Sophomore-By-Hours, explained why he is so excited to claim his new title. “The minute that grades were due last year, I couldn’t wait to tell everyone that I am basically an upperclassman,” said Couchman. “I’ll have 61 hours, and that makes me a much more experienced student.”
Despite having hardly spent a year on campus, these Junior-By-Hours students are ready to use this new way to show superiority.
— Hannibal Lechner
While Hannibal might come across as some psychotic murderer, he’s really just a University Honors student, got it? Yeah sure, he makes prolonged eye contact as you pass by the couches in the Lechner hallway, and his intense obsession with true crime podcasts might make you uneasy, but he’s maybe only a little bit of a sociopath at best. Leave the serial killer vibes to McFadden, okay?