Fish Camp Counselors Upset Namesake Is Not Rich
Following a disappointing camp reveal that featured Little Caeser’s pizza and an average suburban home, e first-year Fish Camp counselor Lynn Zapata expressed dismay that her camp’s namesake, “was “just some university worker and not a rich donor.” Zapata’s embarrassment only increased in the hours after the reveal, as her friends in different camps began to post about the custom backpacks and fancy dinners that their namesakes had purchased for them.
“Obviously I’m super grateful for all that my namesake has done for the Texas A&M community,” Zapata said. “But as someone who’s welcoming the next generation of Aggies, I feel like I deserve a little bit more than a meal on a paper plate and a bead bracelet.”
Fellow counselor Eric Carlisle echoed Zapata’s sentiment. “I don’t blame my namesake for not being smart enough to start her own business,” Carsisle said. “But the Fish Camp directors totally dropped the ball with her selection. Also, look at her last name. Imagine how lame it’s going to look on t-shirts. It’s impossible to make any puns with.”
The following afternoon, the counselors were reported to have forgotten the previous day’s misfortune after learning the family of one of their chairs owns two lakehouses. “Best camp ever,” Carlisle said. “Both road trips are already guaranteed to be super sick.”
— MSC ALITTLE
You’ve seen him, the phantom of the Memorial Student Center, lurking in the back of the lunch crowd. Perhaps you caught a glimpse of him darting in and out of various conference rooms. MSC ALITTLE is the CEO of overcommitment, and a sucker for any organization with a pithy acronym. His motives are a mystery. Clout chasing? Resume building? Maybe he just really likes the food at Rev’s. Whatever the case, we count ourselves lucky to be swept away to his lair in the basement, to be tutored in time management and seizing the day.