Visiting Student Impressed With College Station Must Be From Real Shithole
While checking in for her official campus visit at the Texas A&M University Visitor Center, high school junior Ainsley Slaughter praised College Station for being “beautiful and easy to navigate.” The tour guide checking Slaughter in reportedly dropped their iPad and was rendered speechless for approximately 3.2 seconds as a result of the unfounded, false comment.
“I was so taken aback that someone thought College Station was actually nice,” said Presley Granger, a tour guide of three years. “Everyone coming to visit always acts like we’re the city equivalent of a Porta-Potty, and I’ll be honest, they’re kind of right. Poor thing, she must be from a real shithole town.”
Upon further investigation, it was found that Slaughter was, in fact, from a real shithole town. The Slaughter family currently resides in Bovina, Texas, a panhandle city of 1,868 people known for its beef processing facilities, feedlots, and grain storage.
Slaughter was later heard comparing College Station to Paris, London, and Los Angeles during her campus tour.
— Flash it Back, Ags
You may have seen her skulking around campus in a beige trenchcoat, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal her ass to unsuspecting students. An exhibitionist at heart, she’s been arrested for streaking fifteen times since 2012. UPD is aware of her presence and is doing their best to keep her away from sporting events, graduations, and the background of promotional materials. You can often find her doing squats at the Rec. If you ask politely, she might just show you her assets.