Buck Weirus Spirit Award Watch to Change Face to Mirror
With the naming of the 2022 Buck Weirus Spirit Award winners this weekend, The Association of Former Students has changed the traditional watch face to a mirror. Previously, candidates have been selected for the prestigious award based on their high involvement in student organizations and Aggie traditions, but this year’s selection committee added another factor: physical attractiveness.
“With a highly saturated market of competitive applicants, we needed something to differentiate the candidates,” said Porter S. Garner III, Association of Former Students President. “We’re now looking for the perfect all-around candidate – brains, spirit, service, and good looks.” While the old face included a simple maroon analog dial with the word “spirit” on it, the new mirror watch face will reflect the most important part of the award: the recipient.
When 2021 award winners were asked about this recent change, senior animal science major Grace Parish said, “I wish my watch had a mirror on it! I don’t even know how to read the time on this one. Plus, I love the idea of always being able to admire myself using it, no matter where I am.”
The new development is expected to come as a shock to award recipients, as the announcement was not made until after award emails were sent out. According to Garner, the university wanted to make sure students were applying for the right reasons. In years to come, students with a higher degree of self-confidence and egoism will especially appreciate the change, as they will be recognized both for their contributions and good looks. Make sure to congratulate your awarded peers for not only being overinvolved but also unfairly attractive.
— House Boyz II Men
It’s weird to think that a few years ago a baby faced House Boyz II Men was cleaning the house kitchen. He used to pour the wine and light the fire; Girl, your wish was his command. You used to not think much of him, but since he left your sorority’s employ, he’s filled out his oversized blazer and has a real charm about him. It’s hard to admit, but you’re “Sympin’” now. Although you’ve come to the “End of the Road”, still you can’t let go. He has you wishing you could go back to the days your hold on him was strong. How could such a perfect thing go wrong? Can’t somebody tell you how to get things back the way they use to be? He used to do the dishes, now you’re down “On Bended Knee”.