12 Signs You Might Be a Fish Camp Counselor

1. All of your friends are Fish Camp counselors.

With the incestuous pool Fish Camp has become, you are bound to create a circle of friends that mainly consists of other counselors. You keep your circle filled with the same people who know exactly what you mean when you talk about that nasty Lakeview water.

2. You get goosebumps when you hear the songs “Closing Time” or “Mr. Brightside.”

Picture this: it’s the last night of camp and you are attending the camp-wide mixer in Copeland. You hear the opening riff to “Mr. Brightside” and race to the middle of the dance floor to find your camp. A couple of songs later, “Closing Time” begins to play and you wrangle your freshmen back toward the cabins. You shed a tear as it hits you. This is your last night at Lakeview.

 

3. You use words like “sensi” to describe serious moments.

Using words like “emotional” or “sentimental” just can’t describe the sensation of shedding a tear or two when talking about things that require just an ounce of vulnerability.

 

4. You have strong feelings about the color lime.

You either love it or you hate it.

 

5. Your septum piercing has become part of your personality.

You may have to turn it up every time you go home for the weekend or for career fair, but you can’t imagine what your face looks like without it. You find yourself consistently recommending either Legacy or Consortium for other people to get their piercing fix (or, if you are a freak, you recommend Ink Dreams).

 

6. You crave Iceberry Blue.

There’s just something about that color-changing punch that gets your heart racing… but seriously, what makes it change from blue to that nasty dark gray?

 

7. Your closet is filled with Fish Camp merchandise.

There’s nothing like wearing an oversized Comfort Colors t-shirt with some obscure play on words that incorporates the name of your camp. It’s all just a big inside joke that you are happy to showcase to the world— but never on Northgate! It’s forbidden!

 

8. You can down a honey packet like nobody’s business.

Cough drops are for weenies. You choose the better, classier way of soothing that sore throat: getting down on one knee while you squeeze that golden liquor into your mouth as people cheer you on like you are chugging a Smirnoff Ice.

 

9. You cringe at the word “mitigate.”

Those sleepless nights finishing your mitigation templates will forever haunt you. You think of the Physical, Reputational, Emotional, Facilities, and Financial (PREFF) risks for everything you do.

 

10. You think a good party isn’t complete without a star chart.

If you are a total Fish Camp noob and don’t know what a star chart is, it’s a list filled with tasks you must complete before the party is over. Some tasks include taking a shot with someone, signing a boob, or even streaking. A star chart is a Fish Camp party staple, and it’s always an honor for the person who gets the task of making it. What better way to celebrate the end of Fish Camp policy than binge drinking with your friends and getting to act on those horny little thoughts you have been having for months about your fellow counselors? Whether it’s kissing your partner or baby-birding with your chair, those After Policy Parties are always ones to remember.

 

11. You never stop talking about how you are a Fish Camp counselor.

Instead of the theater kid excuse of “I can’t, I have rehearsal” it’s now “I can’t, I’m hanging out with my camp.” You seem to only post on Instagram when you have a Fish Camp event, and you always manage to bring up Fish Camp in every conversation. You can’t seem to get the hint that no one actually cares that you are a Fish Camp counselor.

 

12. You deeply care about the incoming class of freshmen.

You definitely won’t ghost your DG freshmen after the first two weeks of school, right?

 

— Sharts & Rec