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Cool Underground Marching Band Performs at Intramural Sports Halftime Show

By Mugdown Staff , in Intramural Hate Week , at November 17, 2021 Tags: , , , , , ,

An enigmatic marching band performed a crowd-stunning routine Monday night during an intramural flag football game. Following a riveting first half, a mist settled over the field. Forming at the north end of Penberthy Rec Sports Complex, the as-yet-unknown Fun Times Always (FTA) Band made its public debut.

“The atmosphere was electric,” said Jackson Harvy, a firsthand witness to the showcase. “At first, I felt something familiar about this mysterious 350 member ensemble, but as the first notes of Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’ pierced the air, I felt a sense of community I had never experienced before and might never again. I felt appreciated not for being an Aggie or an American, but for being human.”

Moments after the Woodstockian performance began, the crowd erupted with newfound excitement to support both teams equally in the second half.

Following a finale mashing up John Lennon’s “Imagine” with the entire post-country works of Taylor Swift, the band members locked arms and slowly walked towards their fleet of Volkswagen buses painted with images of each country’s national flower.

As one band member was loading his “coexist” flag, which he had waved in harmony with 11 other unique individuals, Mugdown reporters stopped him for questions.

“I guess I’m here in opposition to the repressive body that stifles my ability to express myself in my daily life,” said the flag bearer when asked of his motivation for joining this collective of freethinkers. He didn’t provide his name but left with a mischievous wink.

The Intramural Sports staff was so moved by the utter triumph of human spirit that they refused to declare a victor. Unsure on how to proceed, top intramural officials consulted their policy and determined that each team would be heavily fined and banned from intramurals for life as punishment for being present at a Rec Sports event where something even a little unusual occurred.

 

— MSC ALITTLE & Walton, Texas Ranger