High School Douchebag Lives on in Intramural Sports Recreational League

Last week, it was discovered that the biggest douchebag from your high school is alive and playing in the intramural recreational soccer league at Texas A&M University. Said douchebag, previously thought to be dead from the effects of time and maturity, has resurfaced and is now a menace to sporting events in leagues everywhere.

Opposing teams reported his presence after facing intense bullying during a friendly recreational soccer game. The douchebag reportedly yelled at teammates, trash-talked the opposing team’s worst players, and additionally used unnecessary roughness during an altercation with the goalie.

While your high school douchebag could have chosen to utilize their impressive sporting skills in a competitive league, they have decided instead to dominate recreational leagues. As team captain of a completely stacked team, they will have no qualms about absolutely demolishing your group of friends during the next match.

When asked to comment by The Mugdown on why they decided to resurface in the recreational league, your high school’s biggest douchebag explained, “Hey, I played high school baseball, okay? It’s not my fault you guys decided to put together a ragtag team of misfits and completely suck. Maybe you should stick to studying, nerds.”

 

— Milidairy Walk