Adrenaline Junkie Initiates Conversation on Elevator Ride
In a recent text to her mom, sophomore Sophia Anderson detailed the lackluster quality of life in Bryan-College Station. Without the thrill of the city and the life-risking adventures it can pose, Anderson claimed, “the 30 seconds of travel from the lobby to the 12th floor gives [her] more than enough opportunity for excitement and action.”
Anderson stepped onto her apartment complex’s elevator with no intention other than to put the oblivious company at the utmost unease. The awkward initiation of conversation was only the beginning of the rush for Anderson. Sources indicate that the variable span of a topic of conversation, mixed with the mystery of the elevator ride’s length, added the aspect of unnecessarily prolonged silences to her game. Anderson employed new conversation starters for those who did not exit the elevator during the given pauses.
Anderson believes that her efforts do not go unnoticed and that they are even appreciated by her company. “I have unsolicitedly gathered enough information from the elevator girl that I may even consider her a friend now,” said a resident of Anderson’s building. “I’ve learned that pretending to not have heard her or even genuinely being on the phone will not stop her pursuits. I have to mentally prepare myself for the ride to my floor whenever I see her. Can’t this girl take a hint?”
Sometimes the conversation serves as Anderson’s personal challenge for the day. Much like the popular ‘elevator roulette’ challenge, conversing with people in a short period of time gives her a small sense of accomplishment.
— BIMS and Snap
One day after a particularly rough organic chemistry lab, BIMS and Snap needed a pick-me-up. After haphazardly driving her black, convertible Porsche down Texas Avenue, she screeched into the parking lot of the vet school, certain that a new sweatshirt from the College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical Sciences store would do the trick. As she was walking into VIDI, she saw an absolute hunk of a third-year vet student in a form-fitting white lab coat. Unsure of what to do, BIMS and Snap threw her lab goggles to the ground, dropped to grab them, and quickly snapped back up, hoping to get the vet student’s attention. Since the world is not like “Legally Blonde,” the vet student called CAPS, who recommended that BIMS and Snap channel her need for attention into something a little more productive, like satirical journalism.