New Organization Provides Care for Lonely Formal Dates
With formal season in full swing, a new Texas A&M University organization is experiencing its first business boom. Founded last fall by a group of students, Semi Sitters is dedicated to providing care for abandoned formal and semi-formal dates. Its aim is to mitigate the obligation students have to entertain their vague acquaintances at events, which in turn frees them to have fun with their real friends.
Kappa Pi Delta sister Kelsey Achola is one of the organization’s many supporters. “It’s incredible,” Achola said. “I’m so relieved I don’t have to make sure my date, who won’t know anyone at my formal, is having a good time. Now I can just dance with my girls!”
“Semi Sitters is getting rave reviews,” Semi Sitters president Casey Gallant said. “I knew it was a good idea after witnessing my first semi. I would always see dates alone, just playing on their phones after whoever they came with had gotten all the necessary Instagram pictures. Now they have somewhere to go.”
The amenities provided by Semi Sitters include a portable, air-conditioned building equipped with televisions, gaming systems, and plenty of phone chargers. The facility also includes a quiet room where dates can study for finals. “I’m glad Semi Sitters thought of people like me,” said Trevor Atkins, a junior chemical engineering major. “Now, I don’t feel bad about not studying for my O-Chem final tomorrow just to be my Tinder match’s arm candy. I can do both!”
For pricing and availability, call Semi Sitters at 919-555-1212.
— Broken Reed Arena
It’s 9:47 on a Thursday night. Your group project is due at midnight, and there’s one member who hasn’t added any of her work yet: Broken Reed Arena. She won’t answer her phone, but you know where she is from her Snapchat story — she’s faithfully cheering on the women’s basketball team. You say a prayer. Suddenly, at 11:53, her perfectly formatted portion of the project appears in the google drive, just in time for submission. No one knows how she does it, and no one dares to ask.