Valiant Professor Honors Sanctity of Syllabus Week

In an unexpected start to the semester, students enrolled in PHYS 408 were shocked to find that their professor valiantly honored the preconceived notion of syllabus week consisting of anything but schoolwork.

During the first scheduled class, professor Dr. Marcus Blige briefly talked about the syllabus and promptly canceled class for the rest of the week. Students in the class could not believe the courageous act that the professor just committed. Jamie Weingard, a junior physics major, was already planning which bar specials she and her friends would attend.

Murmurs of the rarity of this occasion filled the lecture hall as the dismissed students made their way out of the classroom doors in dismay. This professor’s nobility would surely find its way to the end of the year class evaluations.

The gutsy move by Blige was disparaged by others in the physics department; however, the faculty member stood firm in his decision to honor syllabus week. “These students think that this is for them, but I just want some extra time to prepare the assignments I have for them,” Blige said. “If they thought the prerequisite classes were hard, then they’re in for a long semester. It will take more than a week’s worth of drinks to forget about their performance on my assignments.”

Students enrolled in the class reportedly blew off the rest of their classes in celebration of syllabus week.

 

— Longboard of Regents