Shared Dryer Doubles as Roommate’s Dresser
Despite complaints from his three roommates, junior forensics major Julian Melborn continues to utilize his house’s shared dryer as a dresser for his freshly laundered clothes.
“This guy can never seem to put his clothes away,” said Melborn’s roommate Tony Rilwer. “He will wash his clothes and then just let them sit and wrinkle. Whenever he needs them, he’ll just start another drying cycle to knock out the wrinkles. It’s like he thinks that he is the only one who ever needs to do laundry.”
After countless attempts to confront this issue, Melborn’s other two roommates have given up and resorted to doing laundry in their respective hometowns whenever they visit.
A GoFundMe page has been organized by Rilwer to help fund a new dresser for Melborn’s room.
— Longboard of Regents
You know that douchebag that rides his longboard in the “No Bike Zone” between the Memorial Student Center and Rudder? Yeah, that’s our Longboard of Regents. When he actually shows up to meetings, you can count on him to sit in the back and Juul with his head drooping to the side as he tries not to fall asleep.