Sunday, November 24, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


I Lived It: A Friendly Stranger Had No Ulterior Motives

By Heldenfalls , in Campus Life , at February 7, 2019 Tags: , , , ,

Dear Reader,

I am writing to inform you of a quite mysterious event that happened to me in Academic Plaza a few months ago. This peculiar experience has been weighing on me for some time, so I hope my honesty will help other students process their own strange encounters.  

My day started off as it always does, with a cup of coffee and a mad dash to secure a good parking spot. I think that’s perhaps true of most exceptional days: they always start like any other day, giving you no hint of the strangeness to come.

So, dear reader, let me set the scene. I had sat down on a nice, shady bench to peruse the contents of my backpack, searching in vain for the granola bar I knew must be languishing somewhere in its bowels, when I sensed someone sit down next to me. Drat! I must’ve forgotten to re-tie the Breakaway tag to my backpack. After considering my options (surely bolting was out of the question?), I slowly raised my eyes to meet those of my assailant.

“Hi!” she said cheerily, “I’m Sara, what’s your name?”

I mumbled an introduction, trying desperately to remember the rules of engagement. How much longer could I count on these banalities to last? Two, three more minutes at the most? I mentally berated myself for forgetting to wear my cross necklace when I had such a busy day ahead of me. We exchanged pleasantries about the weather, but I knew the available topics of conversation were depleting fast. “What’s your major?” I offered sheepishly, knowing this would only delay the inevitable.

To my surprise she answered succinctly, her attention trailing to her phone. Was this the moment she’d been waiting for? I braced myself. What would she start with? Asking where I went to church was always a good bet. Or maybe she’d be more covert, choosing to peer at me with concern and ask how I was really doing? I absentmindedly smoothed my hands over my clothing. I guess my Lorde t-shirt was a little heathen-like in appearance. Surely I had brought this on myself.

She shifted her legs, and I couldn’t help but flinch. I tried in vain to reassure myself. She’s probably just going to offer to pray for you, and then you can be on your merry way. You can do that right? Sit still and close your eyes for a few minutes?

Wait, why is she reaching for her backpack? Ugh, I really don’t want to lug another bible home. My roommates and I already have three on the kitchen table and besides, it’s not like I can just throw it away once she leaves me alone.

Wait, hold on, she’s getting up? That’s it? Am I not worthy of salvation? Or worse, am I not worthy of her attention? Oh boy, if that’s true, I must really look like a lost cause today. Wait, what did she just say? That it was nice to meet me? Not even “have a good day”?

Anxious thoughts continued to race through my mind as I watched her walk away. Was this some kind of long con? Maybe one of her compatriots would approach me later? Or perhaps… no, come on, that’s too unlikely. But… what else can explain it?

My reasoning reached a fever pitch. I had heard whispers of such strange behavior before, but I had never experienced it myself. After turning the conversation over and over in my mind, the conclusion was inevitable…this Sara, whoever she was, was simply being nice. My religious conversion had never even crossed her mind. Can you imagine such a thing?

Well, dear reader, I urge you to take heed. Somewhere out there in the campus wilderness, there exists a rare unicorn…a friendly stranger with no ulterior motives. I hope you will be better prepared than I was should you be lucky enough to encounter her.

 

—Heldenfalls