Christian Men’s Orgs Named Group One Carcinogen by American Cancer Association

The American Cancer Association announced this morning that Texas A&M Christian men’s organizations are now considered a group one carcinogen. Christopher Hansen, President of the American Cancer Association, made the announcement this morning at an official press conference.

“After spending weeks at Texas A&M studying tobacco usage, it has become clear to us that there is a major smoking epidemic on campus,” said Hansen. “Our studies have shown that coal miners are 35% less likely to develop cancer than men who join a Christian men’s organization. Our hope is that by spreading awareness of this crisis, we can prevent these lifelong brotherhoods from ruining men’s lives.”

Smoking rates across the country have been declining for decades thanks to efforts like Red Ribbon Week, but within these organizations, it remains at levels the general population hasn’t seen since the 1960s. While images of black lungs and facts about cancer rates prevent most young people from smoking, this study shows neither can withstand the pressure of an opportunity for intentional conversation.

Matthew Johnson, a sophomore in BYX, shared with The Mugdown how he began smoking.

“I went to my first BYX rush event as a Freshman and got to chatting with senior Brock Kelly,” said Johnson. Brock and I went to high school together back at Trinity Christian Academy where he was an absolute legend, so when he asked me to hang out afterwards I was stoked and wanted to impress him. He offered me a Marlboro Red, and I just couldn’t say no. One thing led to another and here I am a year and a half later, ripping through a pack every other day.”

BCA (Brotherhood of Christian Aggies) Junior Matt Pearson echoed Johnson’s struggle with smoking and expressed disdain for how his organization has been affected by widespread tobacco use.

“Smoking has become so widespread in BCA that if we removed the exception in our no tobacco policy for cigs at our events, we would have to kick out half of our members” said Pearson. “The effect on our organization has been heavier than the familiar haze of smoke at our brotherhood events.Why do you think we made our philanthropy a .5k?”

Not all of the men we talked to saw tobacco use amongst these groups as a negative. John Hurtado, a junior in KYX, defended his tobacco usage.

“I turn 21 next month and have managed to go my entire college career without drinking underage,” Hurtado said. “But at the same time, how can anyone expect me to survive college without finding some way to get a buzz?

Many men in these organizations claim that the decision was an overreaction. Alex Crafton, a recently initiated active in BYX, also assured us that his smoking habit was “not a big deal,” and that he would quit when he turned 21.

 

—Christian Bubble Butt

 

Photo Courtesy of Lindsay Fox https://ecigarettereviewed.com/