Student Who is “Terrible at Names” Finally Admits to Not Even Really Trying
Kyle Erikson, a senior marketing major, has claimed for years that he is one of the worst at learning names and can only identify people by face. The issue has gotten so bad that when someone tells him their name, Erikson immediately forgets it and has to ask at least two more times for it to stick in his head during a five minute conversation.
“Honestly, I don’t even know how I remember my own name sometimes,” said Erikson.
The problem has been growing and spreading around campus, as many students are forgetting others’ names as soon as they hear them. Scientists cannot explain why this phenomenon occurs, but they assume it has some kind of evolutionary benefit that has become obsolete in today’s day and age. Ideas have been tossed around about why names are so easy to forget, and Erikson seems to think he knows what is going on.
“The problem lies within. You have to actually try to learn people’s names, and I have been giving less than no effort at all.” said Erikson. Many students are shocked that the cause of their inability to remember others’ names is their lack of effort and not, in fact, a genetic disorder.
Despite the fact that Erikson openly admits to actively not trying to learn names, many students are ignoring his claim altogether. Some believe that it has something to do with how the brain works. Others believe that stress causes short-term memory loss. The most widely accepted theory is that being involved with too many organizations, as well as studying for tests and doing homework, causes a brain dump that affects the way the mind processes normal information.
Regardless of what people believe, almost nobody seems to think they have control over their ability to learn names. Erikson has been getting better at learning names and has attributed his success to the fact that he has started to actually listen to people when they talk. Many students at A&M who are great listeners and are bad at learning names beg to differ.
—Whoop-Tang Clan
This rising star is still waiting for his Chilifest debut. He doesn’t go for the beer showers or undercooked corn dogs, he goes for the music. The guy who always has his earbuds in where you can’t tell if he’s talking to you or someone on the phone, this rapping talent is destined for the big stage in Snook, TX. Watch out, Professor Stuckey.