CC Creations True Comfort Colors Revealed
With the conclusion of a particularly tumultuous election season and much needed spring break, student life is appearing to settle back down to normal. Or so Texas A&M students thought: corruption has reared its ugly head once again in Aggieland.
Any student involved in one of Texas A&M’s many organizations is likely familiar with clothing from the popular brand Comfort Colors by Chouinard. Comfort Color shirts are mostly known for their variety of appealing (and not-so-appealing) pastel hues and accompanying myriad of obscure color names. The devotion Texas A&M’s student body has developed towards Comfort Colors is almost as defensive and cultish as A&M itself, and there is only one place in College Station that offers their brand: CC Creations. Or is it the only place? Honestly, who knows? Is there anywhere else to even get custom shirts in College Station?
Regardless, CC Creations is the go-to place for custom shirts. It’s not exactly a secret that they have a complete monopoly on the custom t-shirt trade. CC Creations is like the Dutch East India Company of college, but instead of spices and colonies, they sell frockets and absurd brand loyalty. Because of this, CC Creations is making a mint off indoctrinated college students.
CC Creations Mint shown here.
What may come as a surprise is the recent accusations of CC Creations and its connection to the recent election cycle. An anonymous source has reported that CC Creations has been secretly funding many student body election campaigns, like some sort of Anti-Gildan SuperPAC.
It is with this realization our biggest questions have been answered. Where does The Machine get its funds? Who has ensured the Election Commission has been improperly counting votes this whole time? Where did Isaiah Tsau get that stylish maroon tie with the A&M logo on the bottom? Yes, even the infamous Kettle meal is rumored to have been paid for by the company. And there’s no doubt a certain moped traffic ticket would have miraculously disappeared had that issue actually been worth discussing and that traffic ticket actually been issued. CC Creations likely has its hand in the cookie jar of most organizations and committees on campus. In fact, they are probably watching you right now.
All of this shows that someone is pulling the strings behind the scenes. CC Creations is likely just another layer in the great conspiracy. Maybe the Illuminati is behind it all. Maybe lizard people in disguise are running all of SGA. Or maybe none of these things are as ridiculous as the events that actually took place in this year’s election season. That lizard-people thing has got to be true, though.
-Bacon & Ags
It’s Sunday morning and you’ve woken up hungover and confused. “Man, last night’s house party was one for the books,” you think as you try and recall something, anything, about the party. The smell of bacon floats in from the kitchen, and you stumble over to see who’s cooking. You stand there in bewilderment— Bacon & Ags has cleaned up all of the empty bottles, cans, and Solo cups. He has cinnamon rolls warming in the oven, bacon on the stovetop, and an assortment of fruits on the table. You stutter, “Wow… I… uh… well,” but he cuts you off. “I just love a good brunch,” he says. “And since you threw such a great party, I thought the least I could do was clean it up and cook us some brunch! Here, I made some quiche— have some!”