Men’s Org Requirements Revealed
After years of speculation surrounding the membership requirements of Texas A&M University’s most exclusive men’s organizations, The Mugdown has obtained a leaked copy of the unofficial membership requirements.
While nearly every organization claims to select members based on leadership, character and a commitment to service, sources familiar with the process say there is one qualification shared across the entire men’s org ecosystem: being a white guy.
“Obviously, race has nothing to do with our selection process,” said one anonymous officer of a prominent men’s organization on campus. “It’s just that the guys who fit our culture tend to look exactly like everyone already in our group.”
According to the leaked document, the ideal candidate should have:
- Leadership experience
- A strong commitment to Texas A&M
- An interest in business
- The ability to hold a conversation about golf
- At least two friends already in the organization
- A mediocre-enough answer to “Why do you want to join?”
When asked why so many of Texas A&M’s men’s organizations appear to have remarkably similar membership demographics, the officers interviewed denied race playing any role in the process.
“We just have really specific standards,” one said.
The organizations also emphasized their commitment to diversity.
“We want guys from all different backgrounds,” another officer said. “Dallas, Houston, Austin, both public and private schools. We have a really diverse group.”
When asked exactly what qualifies an applicant as a good fit, the organization pointed to the final requirement: They must fit the vibe.
— Wolf of Wehner
Since before the FBI had even heard the name Jordan Belfort, the Wolf of Wehner has been active in high-profile business and political operations around the world. The Wolf played a key role in the Watergate scandal, the death of Princess Diana, the ‘08 recession and even estate budgeting for Jeffrey Epstein’s Island. The Wolf of Wehner does not deny their involvement in these scandals but rather openly discusses them to demonstrate their “vast experience and keen business acumen” when applying for summer internships in private equity and investment banking. The Wolf of Wehner, although elusive, can sometimes be spotted selling test answers before Accounting 229 exams, falsifying earnings projections in case competitions or talking loudly on the quiet floors of the West Campus Library. The future of American business is in the hands of this infamous individual whose LinkedIn profile (with 500+ connections) professes that “It is better to be rich than happy. Obviously.”