Graduate Confident “Everything Will Just Work Out” (No Evidence Supports This)
Jenna Hader, a fresh graduate of Texas A&M University, has expressed full confidence that “everything will just work out,” despite lacking a job offer, clear plan or any other evidence of imminent success.
“I don’t know, I just feel like it will,” said Hader, staring directly at a blank LinkedIn profile. “It always kind of does.”
Even though many of her friends have already accepted job offers starting in the next few months, Hader remains unconcerned.
“I mean, I’m just on a different timeline,” she said.
Friends report Hader has adopted a strategy of “intentional optimism,” combined with selective avoidance of financial responsibility, deadlines and reality.
“It’s honestly inspiring,” said fiancé Roger Price. “I’ve never seen someone so calm about having no plans for the future.”
Hader’s parents say they are “thrilled with the level of confidence” but “slightly less thrilled with the lack of plan.”
Career advisors have recommended she update her resume with a little more padding, but the graduate insists “the right job will accept [her] for who [she is].”
At present, Hader is considering a walk to “clear [her] head,” which experts say is a key step in doing absolutely nothing.
— MS Pick Me
Yes, you’ve seen her. No, you don’t know her, but she definitely knows you. You can find MS Pick Me strategically positioning herself at the prime table spot in every coffee shop in College Station, rotating between them every 30 minutes to ensure seeing as many of her friends as possible. Yes, she is wearing head to toe Daily Drills and drives a baby blue Ford Bronco, but she is so incredibly humble about it! MS Pick Me is notorious for repeating the phrase “to piggyback off what the Professor said…” and mentioning her next meeting she has to run to when you never asked. She camps out in the MSC not to study, but to be seen studying, preferably within earshot of at least three different org members and one professor she can wave to. If life had participation trophies, MS Pick Me would have all of them.