Study Finds Correlation Between Organization Rejections and Little Man Syndrome
Last Thursday, Texas A&M’s Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences published cutting-edge research that established a strong correlation between organization rejection letters and Little Man Syndrome.
Psychological Sciences graduate student Bella Littlemen headed the research team and discussed the nature of their findings to reporters.
“In surveying men who have been rejected from competitive organizations like Fish Aides, Maroon Coats, or even some of the lower-tier Mays orgs, we have found clear signs of heightened aggression and paradoxically shrinking heights,” said Littlemen.
Out of the 50 men surveyed, all reported being originally above 5’10” with tolerable demeanors and average personalities prior to their rejections. However, men with more rejections were found to not only become more angry, cynical and depressed but also decrease in height by at least six or seven inches.
One participant was anonymously interviewed, and his responses were included in the public work.
“Yeah I got rejected from Fish Aides? So what? They’re just intimidated that I actually have my own brain,” said the anonymous participant. “And yeah, I do have to roll my jeans now. But it’s not like that changes much. My height can’t change the fact that people at this school are sheep.”
In other news, Littlemen reports furthering her research in this area to see if another possible repercussion of increased rejections in men could be an enhanced proclivity to becoming an incel.
— Hullabapoo
After an unfortunate accident during Howdy Week involving Hullabaloo Hall, two pounds of froyo, and a DG hangout gone wrong, Hullabapoo was born. A creature equal parts Aggie spirit and gastrointestinal uncertainty, they once wrote a think piece comparing Silver Taps to a silent disco. They are no longer allowed to submit op-eds without an emotional support editor. Their columns are confusing, philosophical, and often end with the phrase “So who’s the real Reveille, anyway?” A legend. A liability. A laxative of logic.