New Ring by Spring Dating App Set to Launch in April

After Texas A&M University administration teased the possibility of an official Texas A&M dating app, the long awaited app “Rev Me Up Baby!” will now be made available starting April 1. 

Last semester, Interim President Tommy Williams was approached by a group of students referred to as “The Aggie Puritans,” who advocate for Aggies to wed as soon as they possibly can. While their initial campaign was met with hostility from a group of students who believe everyone should “wait until their brain develops” before engaging in a lifelong commitment, when they shifted their focus to a flashy dating app, they eventually won the attention of university officials. 

“It was a little jarring to download Hinge expecting to find another revered puritan and then seeing dozens of people saying they want something ‘casual,’” said lead software developer and computer engineering senior Albert Diamondson. “I understand not everyone can be a puritan, but this was utterly ridiculous. I knew something needed to be done. A new dating app was the only answer.”

Rev Me Up Baby utilizes a similar interface as Tinder, but the options for relationship type include Ring By Spring, Ring By Fall, and Ring Now. Additionally, users are required to commit to the first match they receive, regardless of if they lose feelings. 

Following initial pushback from the Texas A&M Board of Regents, the Aggie Puritans were able to secure enough funding and support to aid the software development team in crafting a university-approved dating app. However, the project has not been universally well-received. 

Political science senior Ava Vance said she feels compelled to stand against this dating app to remain true to her anti-“ring by spring” mantra. 

“I think we as a school need to stop encouraging this behavior,” said Vance. “ I know a couple who got married right out of college, at 23 and 24, before their brains even finished developing. And when that girl wanted to get divorced a year later, all she does now is drink raw milk and bake sourdough.”

Vance led several protests at Academic Plaza along with her devoted followers. 

According to Vance, the spread of “ring by spring” propaganda has caused even more distress for current Aggies, and “Rev Me Up Baby!” will only enable this agenda.

“It almost seems like the administration is supporting this idea that young college-aged students should get married immediately,” said Vance. “But at the age of 22, the only heart activities one should be experiencing are heart palpitations from their daily energy drink consumption.”

Despite pushback from hundreds of students, the application is set to be tested by several eager members of the student body when it releases on April 1st. 

 

— Battman