The Squirrel I Walked Under Century Tree With Won’t Leave Me Alone

Last Monday, while on my way to an advising meeting in Bolton Hall, I accidentally walked under the Century Tree. I was so lost in my thoughts about getting into my required basket-weaving course that I didn’t notice the leafy canopy of that age-old Aggie tradition above my head. 

By the time I realized my mistake, it was too late. And to make matters worse, I noticed I had been joined by a squirrel. We locked eyes and the world stood still. His tail flicked side to side as my heart skipped a beat. A life of quiet mornings spent in the trees and peaceful afternoons digging for nuts flashed before my eyes. I was finally content. Then, I realized that was ridiculous and I was running late, so I left him dazed and confused in the shade of the tree’s leaves.

In the week since, my life has been plagued by my furry suitor. It seems that everywhere I turn, he (or she, I’m not entirely sure) is there. I walk out of my morning lecture, there he is, ready to scurry me to my next class. I decide to head to Sbisa to have an early lunch, and he’s outside of my dorm with a pile of nuts for my munching pleasure. Last night, I opened my dorm window to find him three stories below with a boombox held above his head, attempting to serenade me with the dulcet tones of Peter Gabriel. 

That’s enough. I’ve let it go on long enough. I’ve decided I have to let him down easy. He can’t possibly expect me to hold true to such a silly superstition. I can’t be with a squirrel for the rest of my life! Right??

– Stephen Ring