Business Majors Outraged at Banning of Play Doh

In a stunning decision, Texas A&M University has decided to ban Play Doh in all classes in order to better align with changing academic standards within college curriculums. This has all but decimated Mays Business School, which uses the popular children’s toy as an integral part of their learning process.

“The brains of business majors are different from the brains of other students,” said Dr. Johnathan Hasbro, head of the sales and product design department. “Business students need their material slowly explained to them, and a visual aid is critical to making sure they understand the concepts being taught.”

Several Mays professors are reporting a sudden spike in tantrums, hunger-related outbursts and general unrest within classes.

Junior Finance major Kaleigh Wilson delivered a heartfelt testimony to The Mugdown. 

“How am I supposed to make it through my day without my favorite purple Play Doh snack?” said Wilson.

Those in favor of the ban argue that there are better alternatives that Mays students should be more focused on. Chip Malflay, a behavioral sciences PhD candidate, offered the business school a few suggestions on replacements.

“3D printing is an amazing way to create visual aids, not to mention the crunchy texture is much better than gummy Play Doh.”

University officials have not yet clarified if the ban will extend past Play Doh and into other classroom materials like Silly Putty. 

 

— Ol’ Rock n’ Roll & Good Will Humping