Aggie Begs Atmosphere for Snow

Early this morning, an anonymous letter released to the public from an Aggie student begged the atmosphere to bring snow so that classes would be cancelled.The original letter can be read here:

Dear Clouds,

I am writing to request snowfall here in College Station on the weekend of the 24th. The past two years have seen an inch of snow at the very beginning of the spring semester, causing class cancellations, serious frolicking and good clean fun for Aggies everywhere. By standard Aggie rule, an event must occur only twice to become a tradition. Per this standard, ‘Start of Spring Semester Snow,’  is now a sacred holiday at our university. Fraternities and Men’s Organizations have come to count on this weather event to host their annual campfire darties. Organizations across campus have already purchased the ingredients for spiked hot chocolate! Sorority women have even pre-ordered new monogrammed fleece jackets to prepare for the holiday. Without Start of Spring Semester Snow, these preparations will all be for naught.  

Most of all, I need this snow because my neighbors across the street are hot and mysterious. I haven’t had the courage to talk to them all year, and a neighborhood snowball fight is the perfect excuse to initiate flirtatious banter. I know they will be out in the street the morning of the snow, ready to pelt me with ice balls and fall in love. I already have my snowball fight outfit picked out– please don’t let me down! 

I know you are very busy up North this time of year, but we Aggies would really appreciate just a little snow next weekend. Mind you, I said ‘just a little’ – we don’t want a repeat of February 2021. A mere sixteenth of an inch of snow is all it would take for classes to be cancelled. Even rumors of snow may do the trick.

The continuance of Start of Spring Semester Snow is essential for the future of Texas A&M University. We must maintain our sacred traditions. We must maintain integrity. We mustn’t let peppermint Schnapps go to waste, and I must have one of my hot neighbors make intense eye contact with me as he brushes a snowflake off my cheek with a tender caress. 

Please give immediate attention to these matters and serious consideration to this request. The fate of Texas A&M tradition is in your hands.

Thanks and Gig ‘Em,

Anonymous Aggie

— Ditzie Chicken