What To Do When Your Roommate Dies (Graduates)
So your roommate died last December. The funeral (her graduation ceremony) was long and boring as most are. It is now the spring semester and you can’t bear going on without her. In order to help, we at the Mugdown have compiled our best solutions for overcoming such grief and sorrow.
- Rearrange your new roommate’s furniture to match the old’s. If this isn’t comforting enough for you, just start calling your new roommate your dead roommate’s name.
- Start leaving food on dishes when you put them in the dishwasher.When you pull them out, those red marinara stains and solidified bits of egg will bring you back to fond memories of your best friend.
- Order a cardboard cutout of your deceased roommate from Copy Corner and take her to pick up your HEB curbside order. Just like old times.
- When your new roommate isn’t looking, progressively bleach one strand of hair at a time so that she soon resembles your gone but never forgotten blonde roommate.
- Make a soundboard of her classic phrases from old videos and have a conversation with her! It’s like she’s back from the grave (her new corporate job in Austin).
- Just dig her up (kidnap her) from her grave (her cubicle) and bring her home.
— Hullabapoo
After an unfortunate accident during Howdy Week involving Hullabaloo Hall, two pounds of froyo, and a DG hangout gone wrong, Hullabapoo was born. A creature equal parts Aggie spirit and gastrointestinal uncertainty, they once wrote a think piece comparing Silver Taps to a silent disco. They are no longer allowed to submit op-eds without an emotional support editor. Their columns are confusing, philosophical, and often end with the phrase “So who’s the real Reveille, anyway?” A legend. A liability. A laxative of logic.