Ghislaine Maxwell Shocked to Learn Q-Drops Don’t Apply to Prison
In an unprecedented move, high-profile inmate of Bryan Federal Prison Camp (FPC) Ghislaine Maxwell reportedly tried to q-drop her 20-year prison sentence after becoming aware of Texas A&M’s academic drop policy. She allegedly discovered this during a chance conversation with another inmate who went to the university.
Sources close to the inmate say that Maxwell was then seen doing further reading about the q-drop policy from a discarded copy of a local newspaper. She then submitted a handwritten form to the warden requesting that her incarceration be “struck from her record.”
“She was complaining about how she hasn’t heard back from her advisor, whom she emailed a week ago,” said a guard who asked to remain anonymous. “I told her: ‘Yeah, that part actually sounds about right.’”
Maxwell has also reportedly insisted she has “friends in very important places,” but prison staff noted that many of those friends are currently unavailable for comment due to being dead, indicted or pretending not to know her.
Texas A&M officials have confirmed that they do not honor requests from federal inmates, regardless of their proximity to the university.
Records indicate that the request was rejected for a simple reason: the Q-drop deadline ended on November 19th at 5 p.m., firmly closing the window on withdrawals from courses and minimum-security prison.
— 12th NPC
12th NPC is the kind of character everybody and nobody recognizes– the extra in every video game with the same face as a dozen others. At any time of day, you can find 12th NPC either walking around town, sitting on a bench, or selling items, going day-by-day on a loop of pre-determined actions, only deviating when the main character happens to pass by. It’s actually this very forgettability that makes them so powerful. With the ability to slip into any room unnoticed, 12th NPC can linger on the edge of every conversation, and witness any and all private decisions without any consequences. There are on-going debates at The Mugdown on whether or not this writer even exists, or if it’s a shared mass delusion as articles written by 12th NPC just appear on the website sporadically, with no warning or pattern, just a presence that no one can confirm or deny.