Ghislaine Maxwell Shocked to Learn Q-Drops Don’t Apply to Prison

In an unprecedented move, high-profile inmate of Bryan Federal Prison Camp (FPC) Ghislaine Maxwell reportedly tried to q-drop her 20-year prison sentence after becoming aware of Texas A&M’s academic drop policy. She allegedly discovered this during a chance conversation with another inmate who went to the university.

Sources close to the inmate say that Maxwell was then seen doing further reading about the q-drop policy from a discarded copy of a local newspaper. She then submitted a handwritten form to the warden requesting that her incarceration be “struck from her record.”

“She was complaining about how she hasn’t heard back from her advisor, whom she emailed a week ago,” said a guard who asked to remain anonymous. “I told her: ‘Yeah, that part actually sounds about right.’”

Maxwell has also reportedly insisted she has “friends in very important places,” but prison staff noted that many of those friends are currently unavailable for comment due to being dead, indicted or pretending not to know her.

Texas A&M officials have confirmed that they do not honor requests from federal inmates, regardless of their proximity to the university.

Records indicate that the request was rejected for a simple reason: the Q-drop deadline ended on November 19th at 5 p.m., firmly closing the window on withdrawals from courses and minimum-security prison.

— 12th NPC