MSC Bookstore to Begin Selling Pre-Muddied Jeans

In response to the wild success of the new Stetson cowboy hats being sold in the MSC bookstore, Texas A&M has decided to introduce another product targeting the growing community of cowboy cosplayers attending Texas A&M: pairs of Wrangler jeans that are professionally pre-muddied. Students can now purchase both products  at the MSC to complete the “all hat, no cattle” cowboy look without having to do any real manual labor. 

“This is fantastic!” said Evan Hartford, a sophomore construction science major from “the middle of nowhere”(San Antonio, Texas). “I’ve always wanted to be thought of as a rancher, but cows smell bad, and I hate getting all sweaty. Now I can look rugged and rural with one simple purchase.”

Opinions on the new trend have been largely positive, with women being the largest proponents of the fad.

“I can’t get enough of the guys in these jeans!” said freshman communications major Alice Lockhart. “Now that they at least look like ranchers instead of sheltered suburban mama’s boys, I can’t help but imagine our life on the farm together.”

Texas A&M has also begun exploring the release of an entire line of products aimed at those polished lifted truck-driving, spotless square-toed boot-wearing members of the student body. Designers are reportedly hard at work carefully stretching the elbows of brown Carhartt jackets and pre-wrinkling trucker caps. 

 

— Good Will Humping