Myth vs. Fact: Thanksgiving Edition

Myth: You will start studying for finals over the break.

Fact: The only thing you will study is the back of your eyelids.

 

Myth: Friendsgiving will be a wholesome, loving evening.

Fact: Two girls will leave sobbing, one couple will break up and the host’s house will be in shambles. 

 

Myth: You can convince your longhorn loving relatives that the Aggies will BTHO t.u.

Fact: No one is listening to your schizophrenic ramblings.

 

Myth: Everyone will love the dish you brought.

Fact: No, Jessica, everyone thinks you’re lazy and a loser for bringing a store-bought pie.

 

Myth: Your weird uncle won’t drink too much at dinner.

Fact: Make sure you take his keys.

 

Myth: Your hometown is big enough to avoid your high school ex boyfriend.

Fact: You will run into him, his mother and his new girlfriend 28 times in a week, and they are all hotter than you.

 

Myth: Your grandma won’t make things awkward.

Fact: She will ask when you’re giving her great grandbabies, your thoughts on Greg Abbott, and if your girlfriend has gained weight all in one breath. 

 

— HypochondriAg & Hello Dammit