Bonfire Crews Starter Pack: Burn Night Edition

For over 100 years, students who hate free time have spent countless hours preparing for one night where they burn the structure they have spent months building. At Burn, you might be unlucky enough to run into some of the crews that sacrificed their sleep schedules to witness their hard work go up in flames. Here’s what you need to know about a few  of the crews you might meet:

Walton Hall:

Ever met a guy who clings so desperately to one student organization and then bases his entire life around that group? Well, that’s every member of Walton Bonfire Crew. Be it defending their pile of grassy dirt, announcing dinner time before your grandma is ready to eat, an odd fascination with the buoyancy of oranges or a fixation with a certain yellow fruit, these guys don’t know what’s south of the Academic building.

Legett Hall:

Being the only all-female bonfire crew at Texas A&M, these ladies have a special place in the bonfire hierarchy. Always seen wearing questionable tactical belts full of only God knows what, these lovely ladies will guard their stash of blue Pixy Stix with an unimaginable fervor. In the woods, Legett Ladies gleefully catcall any woman who crosses their path and reduce any man with the gall to come into their section of the woods to a worthless pile of tears. 

Kreuger Hall:

I mean, what more can you expect from a group of students who idolize the Commons Dining Hall.? These guys are weird, and not in a fun way. Word to the wise: don’t ask them about their ratty caps that may or may not secrete an unidentified substance when it rains.

Shuchmacher Hall:

Schumacher, shoomatcha, stew- whatever.  Shoomaker crew members desperately cling to their rusty tables, loose bricks and their inordinate obsession with Garfield. Though the tetanus has clearly gone to their brains, at least the Shuchmacher crew is fun to be around, in the same way a younger brother is fun for an hour or two before they become annoying. 

Lechner Hall:

Known as the Nerd Crew, these guys really live up to their names. Commonly seen rocking a Walmart Jack-O-Lantern shirt and hunting for yummy bugs to have as a snack, these guys certainly bring a quirky charm to the woods. Although they’re not the most talkative group of people, they will never let you forget that they are the honors dorm on campus. Avoid this crew at all costs; Having won Centerpole this year, they will certainly be even more insufferable at Burn than usual.

Neeley Hall: 

The Neeley Knockouts are truly an unsettling addition to the Student Bonfire lineup – fiercely loyal, questionably sane and somehow both the pride and shame of their hall. These guys guard their concrete bench like it’s a national monument. Let’s just say their traditions are… community-oriented. 

FHK Hall:

These guys and gals are so uninvolved that we almost forgot to even talk about them. Motel 6 style dorms, Motel 6 level of enthusiasm. Often caught having their Kelly Green and Summer Squash Yellow hats stolen by other crews, they serve as the dumping ground for any unwanted fish cast-out by other crews. Seemingly oblivious to the rat-like allusions, FHKers pride themselves on their voluntary isolation in the “Cheese Cave”. 

 

–Chain Saw ‘Em Off & Good Will Humping