Student Senate Maximizes Efficiency, Removes Itself from Student Government

In the most successful efficiency initiative of any government, Texas A&M’s Student Senate voted to remove itself from the Student Government Association (SGA) during last week’s meeting. 

Loud banging on tables followed by whoops and applause could be heard emanating from Koldus 144 as the Speaker announced that the measure passed with a vote of 26-10.

“Finally, I’m free,” said overwhelmed Senator Brittney Prescott. “I mean, this is the first meeting I’ve been to all year, but I’m so glad this burden is off my chest.”

The Student Senate, which has passed dozens of resolutions applauding, commending and recognizing various things that everyone else has done throughout the year, has also dabbled in arguing over periods, semicolons and confusing phrases in the SGA code.

“It’s sad to see the great work of the Senate go undone,” said Senator Cade Lewis. “I actually had a very serious discussion about bringing a Waffle House on campus with…”

The change was made final when it was signed by Student Body President Carter Mallory.

“On a scale of 1-10, I’d give this bill a 12,” said President Mallory. “Frankly, this is the best thing that the Senate has ever done in the history of student government.”

— Dumbledorms