Students Call for Beheading Over Yell Leader Halloween Costume

This past ‘Halloweekend’, freshman Jennifer Brookes dressed up as a sexy yell leader, causing an uprising of students who are now calling for her beheading. 

Brookes reported wanting to have a fun Halloween – getting dressed up with her friends and puking jungle juice in the neighbors’ bushes. The night took a dark turn when photos of her costume ended up on social media. Dressed in a white romper with maroon cowboy boots, she now faces immediate expulsion and possible beheading. 

Students have varying levels of sympathy amidst the controversy. 

“Like, she looked hot, but it’s disrespectful to the brave men who fearlessly lead the football yells,” said Fish Hartberg. “You wouldn’t dress up as a sexy military general, and the  yell leaders are honestly more important than like 99% of military personnel.”

Other students stand with Brookes.

 “I believe a beheading is too far,” said junior Ashley Crow. “Death by firing squad seems more appropriate for this situation.”

Brookes is attempting to navigate her impending doom. According to sources, she thought dressing up as a renowned Corps Leader could incite feelings in her crush, a member of the Corps Staff.  

“He is just constantly going on and on about how brave and sexy the Yell Leaders are –  I just wanted him to see me that way,” said Brookes.

— Boot In My Mouth