Frat Haunted House Actually Just Their Normal House

Guests were left horrified this week after Kappa Nu’s “Booze n Boos Bash” was discovered to not be in a haunted house as advertised, but in the residence of one of the upperclassmen. 

“I thought the cobwebs and mysterious stains were just decorations,” said junior nursing major Halle Helms. “Turns out they’re actually structural to the house.”

Bystanders reported the haunted house as an experience that was eerily authentic, including sticky floors, flickering lights, and chilling moans coming from behind a closed door. One party goer also confirmed that they mistook the fridge as a prop coffin until someone pulled a case of beer from it. 

House resident Brody Bedford maintained that the realism was intentional.

 “This is a Kappa Nu pass-down house. It’s been haunted by the same smells and messes since 2015,” said Bedford. “We didn’t even have to decorate for this party, so why not make a sick rager out of it?”

The fraternity is allegedly now charging $10 at the door for “VIP Ghost Tours,” which will include two free seltzers and a chance at seeing the infamous ghost of Brother Kyle, a sixth year who still roams the upstairs hallways asking if anyone will let him log into their Chegg account. 

— Elevator Pitch