Texas A&M School of Medicine Reveals Top 5 Dorm Laundry Techniques

Last Wednesday, Dr. Alfred Xu, a researcher at Texas A&M’s School of Medicine, shared recently developed dorm laundry techniques that had been formulated in his lab with The Mugdown. 

Xu’s research focused on identifying social standards surrounding laundry. Common breaches of laundry etiquette include: someone throwing your wet clothes on top of the washing machine, carelessly dropping garments behind the apparatus, a fellow resident removing your clothes from the dryer before the cycle has finished, or mixing your dry garments with those of another student which have a questionable aroma. 

Dr. Xu gave The Mugdown exclusive access to the top 5 proven techniques: 

Stalk the Laundry Room 

Always stay vigilant in the laundry room. Class? Skip it. A date with your hot lab partner? It can wait. People may laugh at you, but laundry is war and you are winning it.  

Spam the Hall Chat

Publicly shame the laundry perpetrators. If others are disrespecting your clothes, embarrass them and make them regret their choices. This is also a form of community service as a freshman desperately searching for something to fill the long hours.

 Exploit Your Parents

Bring dirty clothes home every weekend and be the hapless laundry child of years past. If you live too far, you can always use overnight mail. Remember, your parents are there to support you in every way, including doing your chores for you. 

Mask Your Scent

If you’re  really in a hurry and have nothing clean to wear, your best bet is to mask your scent. Especially in the summer, use something strong like perfume, cologne, or, if you don’t have either of these substances, pour coffee on yourself. Everyone loves the smell of a good latte!

Pick Up Your Laundry On Time 

If all else fails, it might be time to do the unthinkable. Set a timer on your phone and come back as soon as your laundry is finished. It’s crazy, but it just might work.

 

— Mosher Sickness