SGA Approves ‘Ring by Spring’ Initiative, Allocates Majority of Budget to Engagement Prep

In a bold move to highlight the true spirit of Aggieland, the Texas A&M Student Government Association (SGA) voted this week to allocate the bulk of its annual budget toward “Ring by Spring,” a sweeping initiative designed to ensure every SGA member is not only engaged in student leadership, but also, you know, engaged.

“We’re just following tradition,” said SGA Treasurer Kyle Simmons, pointing at a spreadsheet where

“Student Success Programs” had been replaced with “Surprise Engagement Parties” and “Extremely Large Diamonds.” “Student Government is how everyone meets their future spouse anyways, so we might as well take advantage of our large budget to celebrate all of the hard work we’ve done for this university!”

In accordance with the new budget, funds will now cover:

• $50,000 for a Ring by Spring photo booth featuring Reveille as ring bearer.
• $30,000 for monogrammed towels labeled “His Whoop” and “Her Whoop.”
• A weekend getaway in Fredericksburg, listed in the budget as “Leadership Development,” but widely known as the Future Spouses Wine Tour.

Student Body President Carter Mallory defended the shift. “Parking, tuition, and mental health are basically solved, so this was the obvious next step. Plus, nothing says Aggie Spirit like making sure your proposal photos sparkle as much as your Aggie Ring.”

The remaining $7.32 has been set aside for academics.

 

MS Pick Me