[Clickbait Week] Texas A&M By The Numbers
12 gay people in hiding
76 percent of your tuition going to Jimbo Fisher’s payoff
1 in 3 Aggies do not know who Brooke Rollins is
$500,000 dollars given to a white guy to put on a white matching set and encourage humping
0 ways Student Government Association has impacted your life
17 engineering students threatening to ask you out
$416,144 going to your weird professor that smells like gorgonzola
27 out of the 27 Texas A&M students have never met a trans person
— Boot Macer
For any cadets that may be reading this, you surely are already wary of typical boot chasers that prey on you for first deck tickets. Boot Macer, however, is a much more significant threat. She hides in the bushes, waiting for a zip lost in thought before she strikes, blinding them with her pepper spray and taking their boots. Nobody knows what she looks like since she strikes so fast, nor why she feels it’s necessary to rebel against the Corps in this way. Boot Macer’s hobby has been great for us, however, as we’ve enjoyed having access to a closet full of boots of many different sizes. We try to not ask too many questions, lest we become Boot Macer’s next target.