[Clickbait Week] I Took A Dump In These Bathrooms So You Don’t Have To
I know what you’re thinking. When is someone finally going to give me advice on which public bathrooms on and around campus are actually worthy of my #2? Well, the time is now. Lock the f*** in.
Worth It: Poop With A View
This commode rises above all others—both literally and figuratively. Even though the “view” in question is of everyone’s least favorite part of campus, the fact that the third floor of the Academic Building has a view at all gives this bathroom a sort of voyeuristic charm that is unmatched anywhere else on university grounds.
Not Worth It: Hogwarts First Floor Girls’ Bathroom
Last I checked, these bathrooms were closed after the mountain troll decimated everything in there. Squat at your own risk. Also, these are fictional bathrooms with no bearing on Texas A&M University whatsoever. Whoever wrote this article is an idiot.
Worth It: Poop With A Better View
The “better view” in question just happens to be on the roof of the Evans Library Annex, which can be conveniently accessed by the stairs next to the water fountains on each floor and a door to the roof that should seriously be locked. Just nab some toilet paper on your way up, and you’re good to go.
Not Worth It: Squid Game Season 2 Bathroom
Do you know how many people died here during that one scene? You won’t catch me dead in here. Or maybe you would, given that one scene. Also, this is still a fictional bathroom. This bit is getting old.
Worth It: Poop With The Best View
Put your lock-picking skills to the test by trying to enter the base of Albritton Tower and climb all the way to the top while dodging University police department officers.. If you manage to last more than 15 minutes without getting caught, you’ll find that this is a nice, solitary spot to relieve yourself with great views of the MSC and the cop cars that will definitely be gathering at the base of the tower while you’re up there.
Not Worth It: That One Public Bathroom In The Middle Of Northgate
If you’re using this bathroom, you’re either under 21 or a loser. I don’t make the rules. I guarantee this literal cesspool hasn’t seen a good cleaning since COVID-19. The first time I went in here, I considered drafting legislation to the city of College Station that required people to wear a KN95-caliber mask before entering this God-forsaken shack.
NOTE: The Mugdown is not responsible for any physical or financial damages to person or property that result from attempts to scale the Evans Library Annex or Albritton Tower. If you do it, though, you’ll be a total legend.
—MSGlee
A classically trained soprano with a minor in chaotic energy, MSGlee once tried to start an Aggie-themed Glee club called “The Whoops.” When that failed, they pivoted to campus satire with the same intensity they used to audition for the Pitch Perfect movies. Known for harmonizing and improvising lyrics with the piano players in the Flag Room and emotionally breaking down over bad acoustics in Rudder, MSGlee blends musical theater trauma with unhinged campus commentary. Their columns are melodic, dramatic, and often come with suggested Spotify playlists. Just don’t ask them about their duet gone wrong with a Ross Volunteer.