Monday, December 23, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Student Dunks Beer In Aggie Rings

By Batt-atouille , in Special Occasion Student Issues , at November 1, 2024 Tags: , , ,

In an attempt to break out of the mold, finance senior Brad Moore will be dunking his beer in Aggie Rings, Moore announced yesterday.

“I wanted to do something different, you know?” Moore said. “People always dunk their rings in beer, so I was like, ‘What can I do that turns this on its head?’ At first I was going to dunk in Twee or White Claw but my friends told me that would be gay.”

Moore said inspiration struck during a Ring Dunk he attended last weekend.

“I was just sitting there, watching these guys dunk and thinking about what followers they were,” Moore said.  “I don’t want to be a follower, you know? Then it hit me. No one’s ever dunked beer in Aggie Rings before.”

Moore is reportedly inviting all of A&M to his dunk.

“I’m doing it this weekend and anyone who wants to see history being made should come out,” Moore said. “If anyone wants to donate their ring to the cause, hit me up on Insta.”

Despite his call for donations, Moore said funding won’t be an issue, as he has strong backing for this endeavor.  Following further questioning, he said his parents would pay for as many Aggie Rings as his little heart desires.

— Batt-atouille